Build The Best Standing Desk For Your Office.

When I first started working in retail many years ago, our job demanded we stand eight hours a day — Bloomingdales, Koenig's, Caldors, The Video Station, Waldenbooks — they all had us standing and walking around the store. And I never complained. Then I got into the 'big time' and for the the next 15-20 years, worked in corporate at a desk. When I started coaching, I built a huge desk out of birch plywood — it was beautiful — but I still sat for most of the day.

Lately, I've been reading about the healthy aspects of standing desks and learned about all the attributes of standing: better posture, more active, easy to reach items, etc. In addition, I tend to walk around while I coach because I feel it adds to the experience and allows me to think and communicate more clearly.

Unfortunately, standing desks are EXPENSIVE! They run into the thousands. I then ran into the Ikea Hackers site, where they take ordinary Ikea furniture and modify it into different designs. So I modified a few designs and came up with the standing desk you see at the top of the page. How did I do it? Here are the 'ingredients':

What were the results? 

1. It was a LOT cheaper to build than to buy. In addition, it's all wood and steel. It looks great.
2. It was super-simple to construct. Just a drill, my 13-year-old son, and about 2 hours.
3. I now have more room on my desk. I'm more organized and I keep the desktop clean.
4. I feel better. Standing all day at first hurt a bit, but now I would NEVER go back.
5. I no longer have to switch from standing-to sitting-to standing when coaching clients.

As you can tell from the finished desk image, I've also added a few drawers ($20 each) to the Kallax Bookshelf. I might even add more!

If you are interested in building a standing desk, drop me a line (richgee@richgee.com) or call - 203-500-2421. Would love to answer any questions you might have.

I have become a standing desk evangelist!

All images are from IKEA promoting their products. I love IKEA, their store, their service and all that they do. Check them out.

How To Work At Home With Kids.

Fact: Working with kids at home isn't simple - but it's not impossible. And it's actually rewarding and fun!

Some back story: I have two offices:

• One is in Stamford, seven floors up (at the penthouse!), where I coach, meet clients, and brainstorm new directions for my company.
• The other is in Oxford, second floor, where I also coach and brainstorm. One of the reasons I left corporate so many years ago was to bypass any type of commute. Why? One reason: the highways in Connecticut are a mess.

Another reason why I left corporate was to spend more time with my kids. During my previous 20 corporate years, I had a 2-3 hour total commute, coupled with a hefty workload, delivering me home at an hour which made it difficult to spend a lot of time with my kids. So I made a change — I launched my own coaching company and it's been gangbusters ever since.

During the school year, working with kids is pretty easy — they catch the bus or they ride to school with my wife (she works at their school).

Unfortunately, over the summer and with school sports/activities, it gets pretty crazy. Since I have more control over my schedule, I can be a bit more flexible.

Over the past 8 years, I've learned a lot about building and maintaining a successful company AND making time for my kids so they don't miss out on things while I spend time with them. Here's what I've learned — it takes four simple rules:

1. Planning

This is #1 because it's the most important. Many telecommuters and entrepreneurs make the simple mistake of not scheduling and planning out their schedule first and then syncing with the master family schedule. If you have a business, every meeting and activity is important, so those get locked in first. Some tips:

• Set a regular and specific schedule during the week and build it into your planner. When you get up, when you interact with the kids, when you need to work, have lunch, resume work, and when you will stop working. Clear time-blocking on your schedule sets the tone for the rest of the steps.
• Let your kids know each day about the schedule. I used to post it on my door so they would know when to enter (no client sessions) or when to stay away (on with clients).
• If you are on a call with work and things might be hectic, let the caller know you're working from home (if possible),  you might be interrupted, and that you apologize ahead of time if it happens. Most, if not all people are cool today with that info.
• Set up a series of hand signals if your kids do barge in unannounced. They should always know never to talk and use signals to say things like "going outside to play", "I'm hungry", "someone is at the door", etc.
• I also work on the weekends. I get up early - 6 AM - and get in 2-3 hours of work every Sat/Sun before the family is up and running. Thnk of it - I get 4-6 extra hours of work in without impacting my family's schedule!

2. Boundaries

Most people who work from home attempt to build boundaries between their work and personal lives, but for some reason, it tends to go by the wayside. Here are some tips to make your work/life day easier:

• If my door is closed, I'm working and don't open it unless it's an emergency.
• If my door is open, come on in. In fact, my son Andrew used to frequently play on the floor in my office while I worked. It was 'our' time together.
• If your kids are too small (baby), then you'll have to wrap your schedule around them. With a little work (and luck), you can get a few hours here and there scheduling around their naps, bouncer-time, and other activities.
• If your kids are too young to understand boundaries, you probably haven't tried very hard to enforce them. I know — I'm a jerk — but it's probably true. It takes a strong will, repetition, and determination to reinforce your boundaries. Ultimately, they will get it.
• Make sure you spend time with them in the morning, lunchtime, and to close-up shop early for dinner — when you give them something to look forward to — they will enjoy it so much more.
• Here's a typical schedule I've used in the past (it delivers at least 8 hours of work):
  • 4:30 to 5 AM - Get up, shower, and dress.
  • 5 to 6 AM - Plan day and begin work.
  • 6 AM to 7 AM - Get kids up and get them ready for school (if summer, let them sleep in).
  • 7 to 8 AM - Bus or drive them to school.
  • 8 AM to 12 Noon - Work.
  • 12 Noon to 1 PM - Lunch (have it with kids if they're home).
  • 1 to 4 PM - Work.
  • 4 to 5 PM - Pick them up from after-school activities.
  • If it's during the summer (no driving to school) there might more interaction, instead of driving.

3. Concessions

There are always exceptions to any rule. You need to balance sticking to your schedule with all the wonderful interruptions that occur during the day:

• If they get in a fight with their brother or sister.
• If they get hurt (an 'owwee', nothing serious)
• If they break something (like a lamp, it happens often)
• Or some other non-emergency interruption.

If you plan out your day, you can easily slip in concessions without it totally flipping your schedule to mayhem. Don't let these small road-bumps totally obliterate your schedule. In fact, you can easily move around activities, tasks, calls and meetings if you time-block your schedule and you have a small amount of time to recover.

I do have one rule, when I am on a very important call, don't interrupt me unless someone is bleeding profusely from an artery.

4. Emergencies

Your son is sick. You forgot about your daughter's after-school activity uniform. They forgot their lunch. Shit happens — and you have to react instantly to break into your work schedule and fix whatever has happened. More tips:

• Don't stress out. These things happen infrequently and your clients/boss will probably understand. Since they are emergencies and they don't happen often, everyone understands and will easily assist where needed.
• Focus on the emergency first. Get it settled, make a plan, then let the impacted parties know ASAP. A quick phone call, an email, or a text will let them know what has happened and when you can recover.
• Don't feel guilty. How many work emergencies have you handled? Thousands. One personal emergency will not fly the train off the rails. We tend to make personal emergencies HUGE. They're not and everyone understands.

I hope some of these tips can help you operate more effectively and efficiently at home. In addition, you can spend more time with your kids — that's why you're working from home!

POST YOUR QUESTIONS OR COMMENTS BELOW

P.S. Working from home and pulling your hair out? Let’s talk. I’ve worked with thousands of people who wanted to take assertive steps and change — call or email me to schedule a complimentary (free) coaching session on the phone. No obligation — just coaching!

Image: Royalty-Free License from Dollar Photo Club 2014. Over 25 million images, only $1 each.

How To Take Charge Of Your Job Search.

I've worked with hundreds of job-seekers and presented to thousands about searching for a job. A lot (and I mean A LOT) of people derail their job search for one simple reason: You're scared.

It's not a horror movie scare where the monster jumps out at you in a dark room. It's a pervasive and creeping scare that festers and grows in the back of your brain.

You slowly disorient yourself, knock your game off a bit, throw obstacles in the way and ultimately, cower and hide in your house.

And it all comes down to ONE simple reason — you are doing something totally alien from what you've done all your life. Looking for a job is completely different from having a job. Why?

• You have to self-assess your qualifications, experience, and abilities.
• You have to write in a marketing style using your self-assessment.
• You have to go out, introduce yourself to strangers and meet new people.
• You might have to change your style and how you present yourself.
• You will be meeting people who are highly critical and will ask you questions which will obliterate your confidence.
• You will have to quickly ramp up your interview game with improved body language and talk tracks.
• You will have to sell . . . Yourself . . . every day. A lot of people compare it to professional begging.
• You have to be totally organized and follow up with key prospects (and laggards who don't get back to you).
• Finally, you have to be extremely professional, happy, motivated, energized, and focused during the whole process.

Now you know why many people in transition hire coaches. It's hard to find a job.

But I find being scared is the #1 reason why most people procrastinate and fail at their job search. You get laid off, you take a week or two (or three or four) to recover and get down to business. You get your résumé done, you begin searching web sites for job postings and you even might apply to a few. You don't get any responses, so what do you do? You apply to some more. No responses? Reach out to a recruiter and watch as they demolish your background, your résumé, and any self-esteem left over from your last departure (okay, not all recruiters). Throw in some lunches with friends and family who hurt you more than help and suddenly, you're this person:

• You walk your dog every morning, for hours.
• You have the best looking yard on the block. The best.
• You surf political/interest/financial/news sites frequently, "To keep up on what's happening".
• You get up later and later. You stay up later and later.
• You begin to help out in the household — shopping, repairs, service people, etc.
• You begin to spend more and more time with your kids (picking them up, taking them to activities). Not a bad thing, but you have to look for work too.
• You might start eating or drinking a bit more. "You deserve it."
• And you start acting like you really don't need a job. (this is the death knell for jobseekers)

And the whole time, you're building a 'facade of fear' brick by brick until it becomes a wall 100 feet tall. Nothing is going to help you break through.

And then . . . you give up. I've coached people who have gone without work for 2, 3, 4 years! This is how their year flies by:

• January 1 to March 31 — It's a new year! Have to get a job! Send out resumes, get some interviews, play phone tag for months.
• April 1 to May 31 — Slightly power down search, depressed about the lost opportunities, frustrated about the process. Begins to work on yard — Spring is here!
• June 1 to August 31 — It's summer! No one looks for jobs now! I get to take off the summer and tell people I will dive right in September 1. I can spend time with the family!
• September 1 to November 15 — Have to restart that old job search engine! Review all my old searches, reach out to new people, and the first objection shuts me down again.
• November 16 to December 31 — Holidays! No one will be at the office (they're empty!) and no one wants to talk to me. Let's wait until January 1 to power up again.

Does this sound like you? I coach businesses and executives too and they think the exact same way. They know they need to change, but the year flies by too fast and suddenly, it's November 16th!

How to you lessen and conquer your fear? First, you have to be very truthful with yourself and diagnose your fear:

• Do you feel you are inadequate? Unqualified?
• Do you feel you've fallen behind in your career? Industry?
• Do you read job postings and find many terms new and unfamiliar?
• Do you have a hard time promoting yourself?
• Do you have a hard time meeting new people?
• Do you not want to change how you comport and promote yourself?
• Can you not take constructive criticism from people without it destroying your self-esteem?
• Do you not like to sell? Cold-call people?
• Do you have a hard time with organization, time management, and follow-up?
• Are you too old/young? Too fat/skinny/bald/ugly/unkept?

Guess what? Many of these might be true. But here's some sunlight at the end of the tunnel — they're all fixable. Except for the bald part, I've tried.

And here's the best part — most of them are only partially true, or not true at all. Why? We are our own worst enemy — our own worst critic — and when we spin each of these 'dysfunctions' around in our brain, we make them worse and worse as time flies by. I tell clients we all have a small Stephen King in the back of our brains, spinning horror stories about our problems, our dysfunctions, and our inadequacies.

Fear is the most powerful destabilizer I know. Your fear of the future can knock you off your feet and cripple your job search for months. But I have a SOLUTION. Follow these steps:

1. Your middle name from now on is ACTION. If you stand still and worry, fear will overcome you. ACTION will eliminate your fear. Trust me.
2. Get on a strict schedule Monday through Friday. Make a pact with yourself to work at least 30 hours a week on your job search (40 is optimal).
3. Get up early (sorry sleepyheads). If you start your day early, you will get a lot more done.
4. Time-block your schedule. Account for every hour every day. Fill up your schedule with important items — calls, meetings, research, etc.
5. Make sure you get out of your house once a day. Go to the library, Starbucks, the park. Anywhere except your house.
6. Make sure you keep your body moving. Work out, walk, run — do something to keep you fit and healthy. Eat less, eat the right foods, and tone up your body. You have to package your look in the best way possible.
7. Get out and meet people. Reach out to old friends, colleagues and meet for coffee. Pick out the ones that energize you. Ask for help.
8. Network. Go to events, meetings, conferences, charity events — meet people, shake hands, learn about what they do.
9. Hit the Three-Legged Stool of Search. Check out the company boards, reach out to recruiters, and most of all, research and reach out to companies and key people who might hire you.
10. Push yourself. Try something new every day. What will be happening in the next 5 years in your industry? Figure it out.
11. Buy a new suit/shirt/blouse/tie/shoes. Look good. Hire a style consultant or walk into Nordstroms/Brooks Brothers/Other and have their style person help you.
12. Track, Track, Track. Keep a list of all your prospects, interviews, people, etc. Look at it every day and move the ball forward.
13. Keep a sunshine file or wall. Fill it up with powerful/memorable items on it. When you're down — look at it.
14. Motivate yourself every day. Listen to motivational speakers on your smartphone. Listen to music. Work out. Do something!

Just keep moving. If you slow down, think of something else you can do. Fear is the ultimate destabilizer and can derail your search for months (and even years!). The faster you find a job, the better you'll feel.

And if these items don't help — let me add a bit more gasoline to your fire:

Let's say you made $120,000 a year. That's $10,000 a month. If you are unemployed for one month, you've just cost your household $10,000. That's $2,500 a week. Or $500 every workday you don't work.

So if you goof off for ONE DAY — that's $500. So go to the bank, take out $500, and put each bill into your shredder. Because when you are not looking for a job, your shredding money.

It's that simple.

POST YOUR QUESTIONS OR COMMENTS BELOW

P.S. Need help with your fear? Let’s talk. I’ve worked with hundreds of people who wanted to take aggressive steps and re-start their job search — call or email me to schedule a complimentary session.

Image: Royalty-Free License from Dollar Photo Club 2014.

Hey CEO, Are You Killing Yourself At Work?

You work hard. You come in early, stay late, and work over the weekends. Of course . . . you're the CEO (or the President, CFO, CMO, CIO, you get the idea). You constantly think about work, even in your sleep.

But you have the primo position, the unbelievable pay, the power to move mountains, and your future already written in stone.

But it's not enough. So you do more. And more. And more.

But what falls by the wayside? Your health? Your spouse or partner? Your kids? Your close relationships?

Yes, you might allocate an hour or two for them a week — but is it enough?

When is work enough when you keep moving the bar upwards every time you reach it?

Let's check out California-based Mohamed El-Erian, when he shocked the financial world when he announced his resignation as chief executive of PIMCO earlier this year:

"The 56-year-old said the "wake-up call" happened when he was arguing with his daughter about brushing her teeth and she left to fetch a piece of paper from her room. "It was a list that she had compiled of her important events and activities that I had missed due to work commitments," he wrote. "The list contained 22 items, from her first day at school and first soccer match of the season to a parent-teacher meeting and a Halloween parade. "I felt awful and got defensive: I had a good excuse for each missed event! Travel, important meetings, an urgent phone call, sudden to-do. "But it dawned on me that I was missing an infinitely more important point ... I was not making nearly enough time for her." (read more here)

Is money enough? How much do you really have to make? Is there a figure you're striving for? Are you reaching for the 'Rockefeller' stratosphere in wealth, power, and influence? Is it worth it?

Or let's see what billionaire Agit Agarwal did:

"He and his family decided to donate 75% of their wealth to charity after meeting Bill Gates, the world’s richest person. Agarwal has a fortune of $3.3 billion, where Gates, the co-founder of Microsoft Corp., has a fortune valued at $84.7 billion. “What we earn must be returned for the greater good of society,” the 62-year-old said at an event yesterday. “Life is not only about wealth.” (read more here).

Many times in life, one needs to step back, re-assess and prioritize the important things in life.

Why?

"Because we get so caught up in the race, we forget there's a finish line, and miss all the fun of running."

So take time out today (or even take a day off this week) to better understand the REAL important things in your life. Start putting them at the top of your list.

I work with many C-Level and Executive leaders to re-orient their lives and focus on what's really important. Drop me a line and I'll show you how.

What Is Your Most Productive Workday?

I was flying the other day to the midwest and read this article: "39% of hiring managers say Tuesday is the most productive workday. Nearly two-fifths of managers polled deemed it the day to get things done. But beware of hump day, which grabbed just 14% of the vote. To avoid a midweek nosedive in efficiency, take a look at the big picture when planning your workweek, and truly recharge over the weekend. Too many of us fall into the trap of doing chores and running errands instead of spending quality time with loved ones." - From Spirit Magazine, Southwest Airlines

There's a few salient items in that quote:

1. Monday is your Jump Day where you plan your week and catch up on any tasks not accomplished the week before. Make sure you take time first thing in the morning to lay out a reasonable and accurate schedule. Block out all of your meetings, activities, and heads-down work time. Be honest and add in flex time in-between in case something happens.
2. If Tuesday is your most productive workday, come in early and get a jump on your colleagues. I used to arrive around 6-6:30 AM and immediately start banging out work where my colleagues would wander in around 8:30-9 AM. I would get 2-3 hours of work in before they even unpacked their briefcase.
3. If Wednesday is truly your 'hump' day at the office, try to plan to get out and meet new people, host a lunch at a restaurant, or even telecommute. If your colleagues are cranky, keep your door closed and stay internally motivated — no drive-by's around the office to say 'hi'.
4. Play on the weekends — don't spend the entire time food shopping, running around with errands, and working around the house. Have fun! Spend some time catching up on your reading, go hiking with your family, hit a trendy new restaurant with your loved ones. These are the reasons why you work — to enjoy your life!

Take each day as it comes, but have a plan to leverage each day!

POST YOUR QUESTIONS OR COMMENTS BELOW

P.S. Want to be more productive? Let’s talk. I’ve worked with thousands of people who wanted to take assertive steps in this area — call or email me to schedule a complimentary session.

Image: Royalty-Free License from Dollar Photo Club 2014.

Grow Your Position In Three Small Steps.

Sometimes we feel trapped at work. Doing the same thing day after day. Handling the same issues, the same malcontents and ultimately getting nowhere. What can you do to move forward?

When I work with teams, I have them perform a lot of teamwork, but I also refocus them on a series of simple exercises to help them grow their position.

I call it Change-Grow-Help. Simply, take a step back and look at what you do all day and think about what three things you can do to make it bigger, better, and more engaging.

CHANGE

What's one thing can I change in my day-to-day work to make it more streamlined, more efficient and effective?

Why CHANGE? Because we get stale. We end up doing things that are easy, familiar, and comfortable. To move forward, we need to mix it up and see where we can make subtle modifications to do things faster and better.

Examples - Kill a meeting, come in a bit earlier, delete that weekly report no one reads, meet with your boss for 5 minutes every morning, streamline your email, etc.

GROW

What's one thing can I do to grow me as an individual who can offer more, perform better, and make more-informed positions?

Why GROW? Because we should be always growing. The attitude of 'I know all I need to know" is a 20th Century behavior. You're going to be left behind VERY QUICKLY. What books, resources, classes can I access to grow myself?

Examples - Take a class, read a book, listen to a podcast/audiobook, meet new people, network, join a club, check out Toastmasters or Dale Carnegie, or (hire a coach).

HELP

What's one thing can I do to help my team, the department, or organization? How can I branch out and make a difference?

Why HELP? If you don't step out of your little cubicle hovel and start making a difference in other parts of the company, you'll stay an unknown and ultimately be forgotten, laid off, or fired.

Examples - Join a committee, start an organization, hold a learning lunch, advertise to your team and visit a conference, start a blood drive, etc.

Image: Royalty-Free License from Dollar Photo Club 2014.

How To Safely Terminate An Employee.

This is a touchy subject guys . . . so stick with me. To terminate and employee is never easy, but when done incorrectly they can become your worst nightmare.

Fortunately (or unfortunately), I work both sides of the fence. I frequently work with clients who are in a bad situation at work with their boss and they've been 'written up'. I walk them through all the scenarios and help them act accordingly. Most of the time, they keep their position.

I also work with clients who own a company (or are a CEO of an organization) and they need to fire someone for cause.

I always advise my clients to speak with an attorney. Especially if you're about to terminate an employee. Because I've seen it all and it ABSOLUTELY can become your WORST NIGHTMARE.

Here are some areas to think about and work with your attorney:

You need to have a broad understanding of the laws affecting terminations — especially the rights of whistle-blowers, the regulations prohibiting discrimination and retaliation, and the laws the can circumvent at-will employment. This is all critical information and you can't leave it to educated guesses — you need to hire the correct resource who has handled this type of situation.

You frequently have to review the benefits of a sound performance management system. If you don't have one in place — GET ONE. Many services, like ADP, can help you in this respect. You have to proactively provide notice of performance deficiencies, understand how to reverse past inaccurate reviews, and determine when you should skip performance management and move directly to termination. Knowledge and resources can help you step lightly and not make a mistake.

You and your management team need to understand how to lawfully reach a termination decision and how to properly document that decision. You have to be directed and/or learn how conduct a termination meeting, prepare for and effectively deal with a volatile employee, determine when severance is appropriate, and determine when to offer a resignation option. Local, state, and federal laws come into play and you have to have the right people in place to ensure you make the correct decisions.

Finally, how do you handle communication after the person has left? How do you communicate the termination to the rest of the team/company without invading on the employee’s privacy? What is the appropriate response to prospective employer inquiries to avoid triggering claims for defamation?

Candidly, every one of these points is a minefield and you need to step very carefully. Only hiring key resources to help map each step will provide successful business continuity and your ability to sleep at night.

If you're looking for a good resource to help — I can recommend a number of services to have a conversation about termination. Just ask.

Extra Credit - Here's a great article from one of my 'great resources' . . . Isaiah Cooper - ENJOY!

Top Psychological Tricks For The Office.

Sometimes you need an advantage at work.

Not only to get ahead and get that promotion — sometimes to just survive. Many close colleagues and new clients have been written up and fired (for nothing) instead of being laid off (the rational option). Companies are getting more cutthroat, managers are getting more paranoid, and it's everyone for themselves people.

Here are some simple psychological tricks to stay on top of your game at work:

Sit next to your enemies.

If you're in a group meeting and you suspect that someone in there might come after you about something or if you have a job with a huge target painted on your back, sit right next to them.

They were hoping that the group would provide some sort of herd defense, but if you're right next to them it can't be anything other than personal. This tends to make them back off, or at least substantially temper what they say.

"Keep your friends close and your enemies closer."

Shut up after the sale.

In sales, once you make the sales pitch, don't say anything else.

A client used to work at a gym trying to sell memberships. She told me that once she got all the small talk out of the way and presented the prices, that the first person to talk will lose. At first it didn't seem like a big deal to her, but it actually worked. Often there were long periods of awkward silence as the customer tried to come up with some excuse, but usually they bought. It was quite impressive actually. 

Corollary: Once someone has agreed to help you, stop talking. The more you say, the more opportunities they have to change their minds.

Notice people's eye color.

When you first meet people try to notice their eye color while also smiling at them. It might be because you look for a second or two longer, but all I can tell you is that people really respond to it.

Nervous? Chew gum.

Chew gum when you're approaching a situation that would make you nervous like public speaking or bungee jumping. Apparently, if we are 'eating' something, our brains trip and reasons "I would not be eating if I were danger . . . so I'm not in danger". Has helped many clients calm down before anxiety-ridden activities.

Instead of asking, make an offer.

If you really want something from someone, frame it as an offer rather than a request.

When Teddy Roosevelt was running for president, his campaign printed out 3 million leaflets with a picture of Teddy and a copy of a campaign speech. The campaign then realized that they didn't have the rights to the photo of Teddy. Instead of explaining the situation to the photographer, which would have given them leverage to ask for a lot of money, the campaign made an offer — they would use the picture, giving the photographer lots of publicity if the studio paid them $250. The studio paid the money.

Avoid negative talk.

In real life terms - avoid negative words when pitching something unfavorable to an audience that you want to receive it well. If you can do it in writing, all the better, because you get to pick out your words carefully. Also focus the manner by which you intend to fix things, rather than the problems.

A client of mine worked with mentally disabled children, and he found it highly beneficial to describe their capacities in such a way that he indirectly described their limitations, as opposed to the reverse.

'Johnny can't even speak in phrases, and only turns his head to you when you say his name, but doesn't make eye contact. He won't sit in a chair for more than a minute unless you repeatedly tell him to.'

NOPE. TRY AGAIN. 'Johnny uses words to communicate, so the next step is to strengthen his skills up to the level of 2-word phrases. He responds to his name by turning, so we're going to work on his ability to maintain eye contact. Johnny is able to remain seated for longer than one minute if given repeated prompting.'

Which would you rather hear about your kid? This also applies to other types of work - use it to present anything negative. Works magnificently.

People will remember not what you said but how you made them feel.

So go out of your way to make them feel good about themselves, even proud. Most of the time we berate and kill our confidence internally, so the more that you make people feel better, the more they will like you. And do things for you.

Also most people like talking about themselves so ask lots of questions about them.

Get them talking on a general topic (movies, music) ask them what movies/music/whatever it was they like, engage them on that, go from there; offer bits of information about yourself then bounce it back to them. Your goal is to make them feel good, via engaging them on their most cherished subjects. i.e. themselves, and the things they like the most.

This technique is really good for various situations that might otherwise be awkward. For example when you are trying to draw out a reserved person, show an interest in them (a genuine one hopefully) and go from there.

Someone you want to know better in that special 'relationship' way? Asking about them is often a great approach.

Trying to get someone to like you in a situation with a power differential (i.e. in a workplace setting or a job interview) is to get 'em talking, ideally about something work-related that makes them feel competent and informed. They will remember how good they felt in your presence and that will color their perception of you.

You're not aiming to be the audience to a monologue, you're trying to find ways in which you can connect with that other person. The ultimate goal is to connect.

Stay calm in the face of danger.

When people are angry at me — if I stay calm — it'll get them even angrier, and be ashamed about it after. It's called an "adrenaline dump," and it's easily one of my favorite tactics. It's basically conversational judo.

There's an evolutionary precedent for it, too — adrenaline is manufactured in response to a threat, and two people yelling at each other both register as a 'threat' to their opponent, creating an adrenaline arms race.

But if that steady increase is interrupted, the whole build-up is swept out from under a person. The shame sets in almost automatically, an innate response to assessing someone else as a bigger threat than they actually are.

I practiced it about a year ago. I was having a barbecue with some friends and colleagues near one of our offices. Some drunken jerk ambles over from a nearby pub and demands a hotdog, getting more and more belligerent when he's repeatedly denied (at first, we said we'd hook him up if we had any left over and that the ones on the grill were already spoken for, but he didn't much care for that).

I walked over to him -- I was easily half his size — looked the red-face, raging jerk square in the eyes and calmly said, "Hey man, I just wanna know something. What's your name?"

The stranger gave his name, visibly taken aback but still extremely pissed. "Where're you from? What's your deal?"

The stranger, now equal parts angry and confused, says he's a local contractor and he lives a few blocks away.

I nodded, and with a confident, measured glare that could chill fresh coffee said, "One last question: Why are you being such a jerk to all my friends at our barbecue?"

You could pinpoint the exact nanosecond the guy's rage simmered out and the embarrassment barreled in. He looked around sheepishly, and without a word, turns around and ambles back into the alleyway, disappearing into the pub's back door without a second glance.

Self Image Is Everything. 

People have a certain image of themselves and will fight tooth and nail to cling to it. Use this information wisely.

I do this all the time. You can avoid insulting someone by not saying anything that shows you perceive them differently than what they're trying to present. Or you can be a little more manipulative and make people like you by casually stroking their ego.

This could go wrong, especially if you have bad intentions. Not all manipulation is bad if done on a small scale with innocent intentions.

Never Ever Gossip. 

Promise yourself you'll never gossip about other people. I mean it. Even when the people around you are gossiping, even when you agree with the stuff they're saying. You don't have to make a big deal of it, just don't partake in it.

Once people get the idea you're not into gossiping about other people behind their backs, the amount of gossip they talk around you will decrease. It isn't fun to gossip unless everybody's gossiping. Your decision to stop the gossip and their eventual reaction to you not reciprocating will positively affect both of you, as well as your relationship.

I made this change in how I interact with people and the amount and quality of my friendships have grown exponentially. People will trust you more if they haven't listened to you gossip about other people. You will be seen as more a more positive person than other friends who do talk shit. The gap gossiping used to fill will be replaced with way more interesting and/or intimate conversation too.

Are You The Center Of Your Group?

When a group of people laugh, people will instinctively look at the person they feel closest to in that group.

Want More Romance?

Look up the false attribution of arousal. Basically, if you want to make someone like you, get their heart rate going.

Take them on a date to see a scary movie and then go out for coffee. This puts their body in an aroused (increased blood flow, not sexual) state. Their mind then falsely attributes that physiological effect to being with you making them think they like you! (hopefully they actually do, but this gets the ball rolling)

Ladies — Want To Be More Attractive?

Wear red. For women, the color red makes them exponentially more attractive. Research has shown that men will go to great lengths to do things for a woman in red that they would not do otherwise like give her money or even carry her across the street.

Let's Throw In Some Interview Skills Too.

Body mirroring. So something that we do that we don't realize is mirror the body language of people that we like, like our friends. If they sit crossed legged, we will. If they touch their face, we will. This goes back to the subconscious will to be more like the people that we respect.

You can kind of "force" this. Put a conscious effort into mirroring the body posture of your interviewer, bun don't be obvious about it. Be nice and subtle. This will kin of trick their mind into thinking that they like you. After all, you are doing similar things with your body, why not!

Get them to talk about themselves. People are selfish and they love talking about what they do. Ask your interviewer as many questions about what they do for work and really listen. They will walk away from the interview in a good mood because they got to talk about themselves and they will then think that the interview went well.

If you are able, schedule the interview as early as possible. There's a ton of cognitive psychology research about the primacy effect which essentially states that items are more memorable if they are presented earlier. So if you're going into a grad school interview where the person will literally be interviewing all day, you will be more memorable if you go first. If you are unable to be first go last. Similarly, there is research about the recency effect, which states that items are also memorable if they are presented last, though the primacy effect is more reliable. Just try not to be stuck in the middle.

Find Yourself In A Debate?

Don't give your stance first. Give your argument. In some self interest research that I did myself in my undergrad, I found that your persuasiveness is fragile and dependent on your social identity. For example, if you came out and say "I'm an atheist and this is what I believe," you are already seen as less persuasive and more biased because people already know why you are arguing what you're arguing; you have something to gain by convincing people. You're an atheist.

What you should do is not say you're an atheist at all. Say "this is what I believe..." Because people don't have an assumption already in their mind, they will be more likely to view you as less biased. Bonus points if you're on the opposite side. For example, a conservative arguing for gay rights is going to be viewed as very persuasive and not biased at all because they literally have nothing to gain from holding that viewpoint while a homosexual arguing for gay rights does have something to gain and thus is seen as more biased.

Finally, Some Cool Final 'Tricks'.

Reminding people of their death will make them more likely to follow a charismatic leader.

You have a much higher chance of success in a relationship if your parents and your friends like your romantic partner.

The placebo effect is actually more powerful than some medications. One study found that cancer patients given a placebo to treat their cancer had a 12% increase in remission rates.

Good Service vs. Bad Service - A Parable.

Once upon a time there was a coach. He woke up every morning at 4:30 AM and worked until 5 PM. Some days he worked at his office in Stamford — some days he worked at his home office.

Some days he coached all day long with wonderful clients — some days he was on the road connecting with old and new friends to build his business.

During these wonderful times, this coach would make a small detour and pick up a few foodstuffs for his family (it's the least he could to to help his ravishingly beautiful and infinitely smarter wife).

This day, he stopped off at a supermarket, let's call it Supermarket 'A'. Everywhere Rich went in Supermarket 'A', if he saw an employee stocking the shelf or walking by, they would greet him with a smile and ask if they could help him find something. Many times, they would comment on an item he was purchasing and offer positive comments on how to use it. The store was clean, well-stocked, and had a homey, comfortable feel about it.

Supermarket 'A' provides a station where one could sample new foods and most of the time, the offerings were incredible where the coach would just have to buy the spotlighted item. And today he would do just that.

The best part of this coach's visit was checking out. First, there were three registers open and one of the employees immediately caught the coach's eye and asked, "Ready to check out? I can take you over here!". As they unloaded his cart and scanned each item, they engaged the coach in conversation about some of the items he was purchasing and how his day was going so far. They profusely thanked the coach for bagging and encouraged him to fill out a ticket (a drawing for a free gift certificate) because the coach brought and used his own bags.

With a hearty good-day from the Supermarket 'A's employee at the register, the coach had an extra spring in his step rolling his carriage to the car.

The next day, the coach had to stop at another supermarket, let's call it Supermarket 'B'. Everywhere Rich went in Supermarket 'B', his aisle was blocked by multiple large, wheeled pallets full of boxes. The employees unpacking the boxes all had a unique air that the coach would describe as 'depressed and angry'. They rarely moved out of the way, grunted when they had to and filled in each aisle making travel a torture course for every shopper. Each aisle was dirty and the lighting resembled the inside of a refrigerator — blinding, florescent white.

When the coach reached the pharmacy to pick up a prescription (no worries - it's an allergy) — he had to wait in line (5 customers deep) and watch the pharmacist work behind the counter, answer phone calls, and ultimately step out and assist the next customer. Where it should have taken the coach 2-3 minutes to complete a simple pick-up transaction, he was in line for approximately 12 minutes. That's a long time to spend standing in line. Honest.

Finally, when it was time to check out, there were only three (out of 15 registers) open and all three had lines 5-6 people deep. The coach chose the self-checkout register, scanned his frequent shopper card to get normal pricing on his items, and began to unload, self-scan, and pack up his items in his bag. Guess what? Three items in, the scanner encountered a problem and required a manager to login, reset, and allow the coach to purchase his five items. Unfortunately, there was no manager to be found, so the coach had to wait until one appeared from their break.

With a hearty FU from Supermarket 'B', the coach had an extra slog in his step and rising, burning anger in his neck rolling his carriage to the car.

All kidding aside, what's going on here?

1. One establishment gets it, one doesn't (or just doesn't care).
2. One has engaged and enthusiastic employees, and one doesn't.
3. One has the layout and logistics of selling food nailed, and one doesn't.
4. One had a comfortable, homey feel and the other a dirty, clinical atmosphere.
5. One had reasonable pricing and great quality, the other high-prices and questionable quality.

Now you might ask, why does the coach shop at Supermarket 'B' and not all the time at Supermarket 'A'? Proximity and convenience. 'A' is far away and takes 30 minutes of drive time. 'B' is five minutes away.

There are a number of lessons to learn here today:

1. Availability and convenience do play a major part in consumer's choice. Time sometimes trumps quality, service, and price.
2. The way you treat your customers, with even the simplest of transactions, impacts their shopping experience. Bad employees do hurt you.
3. Even though people want choice and change, they also like consistency. They don't want to be inundated with 100's of items. Make it easy and simple.
4. Making customers wait should be avoided, not embraced by your organization. Even DisneyWorld makes waiting fun.

What's the moral of the story? The coach should (and will) plan out his shopping each week and endeavor to hit Supermarket 'A' on a regular basis.

Is Your Competition Waving As They Pass You?

On with one of my oldest clients this morning and came up with a spot-on analogy about a lot of organizational management today: Your company is a ship on the open sea and your mission is to navigate and guide it into port.

Your captain (management) wants you to take it in slow and steady, so they hit their schedule perfectly. They don't want to expend any more fuel, any more people, or take a chance by accelerating the ship to get to the port faster. It's the way they've done things for years and they are not changing.

Unfortunately, you're guiding the ship and you're seeing all of the competing ships (and some speedboats) passing you by in the night because they are going faster and using innovative techniques and strategies to beat you.

But the captain doesn't see this, because they're sleeping. But you do — and you tell them everyday that the ship needs to go faster and to develop innovative techniques and strategies like your competition.

The captain disagrees. "Slow and steady will get us into port on-time and on-schedule" (and the captain will be rewarded by management with a healthy bonus if this happens).

But you know the competing ships (and speedboats) will hit port way before you do, unload their cargo, sell their wares quickly, and be off before you realize it.

In addition, when they pass, they are making bigger waves that affect your ship's progress. But the captain maintains a slow and steady approach.

They are NOT LISTENING.

And you're seeing the future of your industry happen RIGHT BEFORE YOUR EYES.

And you're not part of it. You're a spectator. And the competition is EATING YOUR LUNCH.

Sometimes, the captain doesn't notice until it's too late — and then — and only then — they want you to accelerate. But it's too little, too late. And when you tell them, they get mad.

WHAT DO YOU DO? My ADVICE:

Don't open up the throttle — but you should subtly 'click' it forward just enough where management doesn't notice (at first), but where you begin to catch up, pace, and sometimes pass the competition. Add a resource, accelerate the deadline, increase the scope a bit, start a small skunkworks in the basement — but do something.

Also — EVANGELIZE your perspective and strategy all the time. You might be ridiculed at first — but after the competition beats you — you can stand there with a huge 'I told you so' face. They might listen to you next time.

You might get into trouble if management ultimately uncovers what you're doing — but no one was ever fired for doing the right thing and taking a small chance to advance the company forward.

And if you are reprimanded or fired, it makes a great story to tell when interviewing with the competition!

P.S. This happens ALL THE TIME. Think of Kodak, Blockbuster, and Nokia to name a few. What others can you think of?

Are You Crushing It Every Day?

“Love your family, work super hard, live your passion.” - Gary Vaynerchuk, from Crush It! Great words from Gary in one of my favorite books (I require all of my clients to read). He is spot on with this one.

See how he constructs the quote — Family — Work — Passion. Not the other way around.

Unfortunately, many of the C-Level clients I coach work it the other way and find they're not happy, they have a shitty marriage, they never see their kids or their kids hate them, and their only passion in life is putting in mucho hours on the job. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

Yes — you've got the three M's — Money, Mansion, Mercedes (or Maserati) — but deep down, you're not happy. Something is missing and time is running out.

So here goes — you can have all three — it's just how you look at them AND how you prioritize them. I am currently working with the CEO/Owner of a top engineering firm and we're currently spinning the sequence around to help him enjoy the benefits of his labor. He's built the organization from the ground up and now it's time to enjoy life!

NUMBER ONE RULE — Family Comes First. No exceptions.

I'm not saying to fill up your calendar with family-oriented activities and let work suffer. Within reason, try to start your workweek by making time for your wife/partner, kids, friends, etc. If there is a baseball game, a romantic dinner, a morning run, hiking at the park — make sure it is recorded and blocked off on your calendar FIRST.

Again, within reason — I understand you work for a living. But taking a vacation day once in awhile is fine, even encouraged. Leave work early to catch your son's or daughter's soccer game. Come in late because you took your family to an early breakfast at your favorite diner. You know, the one where you all sit together with no TV, no smartphones and just eat and talk.

ACTION: Get your assistant in your office right now and start blocking off your calendar. TODAY.

NUMBER TWO RULE — Work Super Hard. But work smart.

I know you work hard. That's how you got to your position in the first place. But what got you to the captain's chair probably won't help you stay happy there. You worked hard, put in the thousands of hours of blood, sweat and tears. You made all the right decisions (and a few stinkers). You made the right connections with the right people. YOU HUSTLED.

Now it's time to sit in the captain's chair and start delegating even more. Don't act like Captain Kirk and accompany the away team on every mission, stay on-board the Enterprise and direct your resources in strategic ways. What got you here isn't going to keep you here for very long without compromising your home life, your happiness, and your health. You're not getting any younger either.

ACTION: Look at all your meetings and start culling them down by 10%. Stop reading every email/text that comes in. Have your assistant monitor your information flow and decide what get priority. They're the gatekeeper — ensure they guard the gate.

Cut down on one-on-ones with everyone — start to develop a sharper pyramid reporting structure with very few people touching you (no more than 5-7) Remember the Godfather? He had three direct reports — his Consigliere (who died - morte), and two Capos — Clemenza and Tessio. That's it.

NUMBER THREE RULE — Live Your Passion. But find what your REAL passion is.

Too many C-Level executives hit the big show and start to abuse the passion that got them there. They forget the fun, innovation, excitement and give in to boredom, politics, and hitting the targets for their buddies on the board. The world becomes pedantic and the passion flows out of them.

They try to make safe decisions and safe moves, and impact their business, their organization, and their customers. They prioritize their bonus, their safety, and their reputation over what's really important. I know it's hard, but sometimes you have to sacrifice the temporary pleasures to fully engage with what really matters. It's not all money (and if you believe it is - READ THIS - another mandatory book I recommend to C-Level clients).

ACTION: Sit down and assess what your real passions are right at this moment. What gets your motor running? What gets you excited about life? What motivates you to do GREAT work? You need to re-establish a connection with your passion and make sure you fill up your enthusiasm gas tank every day.

Are you crushing it every day?

"No excuses. Make it happen." - Rich Gee

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Start Looking For A Job By Mike Rowe.

Powerful words from Mike Rowe (Dirty Jobs host): "Stop looking for the “right” career, and start looking for a job. Any job.

Forget about what you like. Focus on what’s available. Get yourself hired.

Show up early. Stay late. Volunteer for the scut work. Become indispensable. You can always quit later, and be no worse off than you are today.

But don’t waste another year looking for a career that doesn’t exist.

And most of all, stop worrying about your happiness. Happiness does not come from a job. It comes from knowing what you truly value, and behaving in a way that’s consistent with those beliefs."

Mike Rowe  is an American media personality, actor and comedian best known as the host of the Discovery Channel series Dirty Jobs. He can also be heard as narrator on a variety of series and has appeared in recurring commercials for Ford Motor Company. 

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You've Got The Power.

“You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.”― Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

"I've got the power. Radical mind day and night all the time, Seven, fourteen, wise, divine, Maniac, brainiac, winning the game, I'm the lyrical Jesse James." — Snap, 90's German pop group

Now I've done it. How do I equate the great Marcus Aurelius with a bad one-hit-wonder pop group like Snap?

Easy. I want you to absorb the first quote with the logical/factual side of your brain and the second with the emotional/passionate part. Because each is important in their own way.

I love Marcus Aurelius. He's THE MAN. I regularly read Meditations to reinforce my personal belief structure. I also let it energize and motivate me to MOVE FORWARD.

What is Marcus really saying here? No one is out to get you. There is no bad luck. You haven't put yourself in a position you can't get out of (most of the time). YOU HAVE THE POWER.

Control your overall thinking (philosophy) and your thoughts (those millions of ideas you get every day). You will quickly realize you have unlimited power to do almost anything in your life or change any situation by just reaching inward and grabbing the strength we all have.

Unfortunately, we tend to focus on the emotional/storytelling side of our brain and let it rule our life and actions. We tell ourselves stories that we are not adequate, we are unlucky, we can never have the good things in life, and on and on and on. We slowly dig a hole full of made up stories when squeezed into a huge ball in our mind, and we find ourselves painted in a proverbial corner.

I run into this frequently with clients. They make themselves believe there is no other option, no alternative, no direction to go. They get frazzled, they lose hope, they break down, and the machine STOPS.

I'm here to tell you there's always another way. YOU have power over your mind. YOU have control over how you react to the outside world. Don't let emotions get the better of you. Here are some suggestions:

1. Separate yourself from your current location. If you're at the office, go for a walk. If your at home, step outside into your yard.
2. Meditate. Stop thinking of all the bad things. Turn off your phone. Close your eyes and meditate, pray or just clear your thoughts.
3. Put your problems in context. Are they really THAT bad? Or are you making them huge and impenetrable in your mind?
4. Get focused. When your problem is brought into real focus, begin to think of a number of ways to solve that problem — even if the solution is not in your power at this time.
5. Stay calm. Odds are you still have a roof over your head, food to eat and a family to love you. It's not that bad.
6. Stop playing the martyr. Most of all, NEVER feel like the world is out to get you. It isn't. It might feel that way, but it just the emotional side of your brain talking.
7. Use the emotional side of your brain and power it up with music, dance, art, etc. Fill up your emotional gasoline tank with energy to fuel our thoughts and deliver positive actions.

As Marcus also says, “The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts.” 

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How's Business? You Need A Business Coach.

You've got a business. It might be doing well — it might not be doing so well. If you hire a business coach, they tend to focus on a specific area of your business — your marketing, your financials, your staff, etc. They focus in on your 'pain point' because it's their specialty. If you go to an ear/nose/throat specialist, they will pinpoint your sickness within your ear, nose, or throat. But what you really need is someone who brings it all together. Who can help you view your entire business and help fix what really needs fixing.

That's what I do. The other day, I ran a cool program called Wordle, a free web program which takes a paragraph/page of writing and transforms it into a word cloud. I took a combination of my web bio and my business acceleration page and developed my first word cloud found at the top of this page.

What words immediately stand out?

• LOVE
• BUSINESS
• PEOPLE
• CLIENTS
• HELP
• FUN

I love what I do. I've been a coach for almost 14 years. As a FULL-TIME coach, I work with many businesses to help them figure out what their next steps will be. In fact, I just celebrated 10,000+ hours coaching — if you want to see what that means, click HERE.

I am a business coach. Not a 'life' coach, or a 'financial' coach, or a 'marketing' coach. I am a business/career coach who helps people with their business life. If you want a blankie to keep you warm, look elsewhere.

I am people- and client-oriented. I am not off running multi-marketing junkets — I coach people. Serious people. I spend time with my clients to ensure they succeed. Ask me about Lifeline calls — my clients love them.

I'm here to help. I worked in corporate for over 20 years and found my direct affect on impacting people in a positive way was diminishing. So I refocused it on directly helping people by coaching. I've been put on this earth to help as many people as I can.

Finally, I want to have fun with my clients. Too many things in life are boring and too serious — I want to make the process more fun.

Life Hacks To Make Your Work Day Easier.

Sometimes, it's hard enough to get through the entire day. So I've research a number of psychological business 'life hacks' to help you accelerate the painful portions of your day and make them a little bit brighter. Always listen and find people's soft spots. Instead of being confrontational, be kind and also play those points. What they don't like, don't like to hear, what they like to eat, to do, to listen to. One minute of listening will open the gates to whatever you want to do with that person.

Compliment first. Sometimes I have conferences with parents and they come in on the defense. I find that complimenting them right away helps to ease into conversation and allows me to dominate more of the conversation. This helps in many other situations as well.

Get things done. Pretend you have a 5 minute deadline for just about anything. You'd be amazed what you can get done IN A HURRY. Shit that would have normally taken you a week.

Look good. If you praise someone to another person, that person is likely to attribute the positive qualities you mentioned to you. I remembered this one when my boss, during a performance evaluation, used the same 3 positive words to describe me that I'd used to describe a coworker a couple of months earlier.

Do you have a rival? Or just someone who seems to dislike you, ask them for a favor. It will completely overhaul their outlook. This is known as the Ben Franklin effect as he documented it quiet thoroughly with the delegate from Delaware.

Someone yelling at you? When someone is having a breakdown, even if they are targeting you and verbally attacking you, don't make yourself the victim. Listen to what they say, and speak to them calmly and rationally. Once they are calmed down, tell them how it made you feel and how they may have been in the wrong. When people are having a breakdown, their emotions have full control of them and you letting your emotions take over is only going to make things worse. Just remember, if someone is acting this way, its not to hurt you, its because they feel hurt. And they will be much more willing to admit it if you treat them as the victim and yourself as the offender. At least until they calm down.

Want to make friends? If you want someone to like you in any given situation try not to wholly disagree with their opinions. Instead, initially show some resistance to their statement(s) and as time progresses, begin to show them that you are coming around to their idea/ that perhaps you have changed your view. The fact that they believe they have changed you opinion something positive about your interaction that they won't forget.

Want to be attractive? Wear red. For women, the color red makes them exponentially more attractive. Research has shown that men will go to great lengths to do things for a woman in red that they would not do otherwise like give her money or even carry her across the street.

Interview body language. So something that we do that we don't realize is mirror the body language of people that we like, like our friends. If they sit crossed legged, we will. If they touch their face, we will. This goes back to the subconscious will to be more like the people that we respect. You can kind of "force" this though, say in an interview. Put a conscious effort into mirroring the body posture of your interviewer, but don't be obvious about it. Be nice and subtle. This will trick their mind into thinking they like you. After all, you are doing similar things with your body, why not!

Get them to talk about themselves. People are selfish and they love talking about what they do. Ask your interviewer as many questions about what they do for work and really listen. They will walk away from the interview in a good mood because they got to talk about themselves and they will then think that the interview went well.

Schedule meetings as early as possible. There's a ton of cognitive psychology research about the primacy effect which essentially states that items are more memorable if they are presented earlier. So if you're meeting with someone where the person will literally be in meetings all day, you will be more memorable if you go first. If you are unable to be first go last. Similarly, there is research about the recency effect, which states that items are also memorable if they are presented last, though the primacy effect is more reliable. Just try not to be stuck in the middle.

Are you debating a position? Don't give your stance first. Give your argument. In some self interest research that I did myself in my undergrad, I found that your persuasiveness is fragile and dependent on your social identity. For example, if you came out and say "I'm an atheist and this is what I believe," you are already seen as less persuasive and more biased because people already know why you are arguing what you're arguing; you have something to gain by convincing people. You're an atheist. What you should do is not say you're an atheist at all. Say "this is what I believe..." Because people don't have an assumption already in their mind, they will be more likely to view you as less biased. Bonus points if you're on the opposite side. For example, a conservative arguing for gay rights is going to be viewed as very persuasive and not biased at all because they literally have nothing to gain from holding that viewpoint while a homosexual arguing for gay rights does have something to gain and thus is seen as more biased.

Have to make or present an important choice? People will incline to chose the last choice presented to them. In her case, this worked because asking "Should I take a note (for said person) or will you call back yourself?" would lead people to calling back themselves much more often making her work easier. Now this doesn't work with all questions ("Do you want to go to Venice or Rome for holidays?") but it usually works with questions where the choice isn't that important. "Do you want to eat pizza or takeout Chinese?" is another good one. Put the choice you want them to take as the last one and pray they take the bait. Another protip: DON'T let them know you do this, or they may think you're putting your choice as the last one when that ain't necessarily true.

Want more confidence? You can affect your testosterone levels and convey mroe confidence by, simply, streching out and making yourself as big as possible for periods of 2 minutes! Watch this video. It WORKS!

Information for this article gathered from Reddit.

ANY QUESTIONS OR COMMENTS? LET ME KNOW BELOW. I WOULD APPRECIATE IF YOU SEND IT TO YOUR FRIENDS!

Are You Feeling Guilty At Work?

I'm feeling guilty today. The funny thing is . . . I shouldn't. Every Tuesday, like clockwork, I attend my networking/sales team meeting with approximately 50 people.

It's called BNI (Business Networking International), a worldwide organization where businesspeople meet to learn about their services and deliver hot referrals (CLIENTS) each week. I find it powerful for my business (it delivers 40-45% of my clients each year) and wouldn't miss it for the world. In fact, if you have a business or a product to sell, BNI is THE place to go to increase your bottom line.

What happened?

Today, I'm missing my weekly meeting. I had to double-book a client over my meeting and could not schedule it for any other time this week. They HAD to meet at this time. And I did ALL the right things a BNI member should do:

I notified the leadership team of my absence.

I replace my open spot for the week with a great substitute who will do my commercial.

I let the visitor host team know of my sub so they could list them on our weekly roster.

And I did it all on-time, prior to our meeting.

I still feel guilty. I feel that I'm letting my colleagues down even though I've taken all the steps to ensure my absence is covered this week. Why do I feel guilty?

I feel like I'm letting my BNI colleagues down.

I feel that I'm missing out on something good.

That regular burst of enthusiasm I receive from attending will not be there this week.

Honestly, I shouldn't feel guilty. NOT ONE BIT. Why? Guilt is all about the PAST. And guess what? There's nothing I can do about it. NOTHING. It's in the past.

I've made a decision, I've prepared my absence — I've taken all the steps to ensure I shouldn't feel guilt about missing my meeting. So it's time to confront my guilt and realize I have to live in the present and move on from this 'fake' feeling. Why?

It's holding me back — I'm focusing on something that really doesn't matter.

I'm expending mental and physical energy towards a belief that is not true.

I'm not focusing on the present or planning for the future. This is where I can make serious progress towards my goals.

So the next time you feel GUILTY, remember it's all in the past and there's nothing you can really do about it. Take that guilt and repurpose its energy into the present and future. You will find yourself working faster, better, and with more enthusiasm.

Guilt is a mechanism for us to remember past mistakes so we don't repeat them — don't let it paralyze you.

I'D LOVE TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR GUILT AT WORK. LET ME KNOW BELOW.

Where Are All The Great Careers? Hiding Right Here.

We all know the common and famous careers out there. Did you know there are many great career paths that are 'hidden' from the normal news mainstream? Careers we probably know exist if we really thought about it, but we tend to forget them when we look at the entire career picture.

Put on your seatbelt — here we go!

Welding - From many schools, you can graduate with a welding degree. The average salary for a welding engineer is $48K to $101K. That's not too good for some people, but if you had a wife who worked the same job as well, and only spent half of each others pay check. Hey, you'd have 1 million in 10 years.

School Administration - Most people think education degrees can only lead to being a teacher but if you get your masters in administration you will be a principal making well over six figures.

Technical Writing - There is a wide variety of sub-specializations which lean more toward engineering, how-to's, or investigations. Even at a little company, there's more random stuff than you would think (DNA, DEA, bacteria, electrical engineering, IT, etc.) Most get a BA, but people who just have AAs that work in the field.

The U.S. Coast Guard - Most people don't know that it's an actual military service or that it even exists. All the military benefits and living by the ocean or water your entire career with very few exceptions.

Bioinformatics - Seriously, perfect for young people who know how to use computers and love looking at a screen all day. Why not do that working for Pharma or the Government? $100k+ entry-level if you set yourself up the right way.

Real Estate Appraisal - Combines an interest in real estate and allows for a guaranteed paycheck. Paid on a type of "commission" basis, but you  earn a percentage of the fee a client pays the company (most clients are banks, at least at my company). So unlike a lot of sales positions, you TRULY make as much money (to a point) as you'd like. Because you're paid on "commission" or fee split as we call it, your schedule can be busy or quiet, and you're also practically guaranteed work.

Car Sales - If you get into the game, you can quickly become a finance or desk manager making $120+ a year. If you keep moving up you can triple that as a General Manager. If you work hard enough and own your own dealership you can rake it in without doing much anymore.

The Army - I don't think people realize that Army will pay for your ENTIRE COLLEGE fund, send you to a great school, and offer the best benefits in the United States arsenal. Also their MOS's transfer fantastically into the civilian world. You will always have a leg up on people for being in the military. And if you're worried about dying out there, note that you're statistically more likely to drive than you are going to war.

Power Line Technician - Everyone needs power, even in recessions. A past client of mine makes about $150k a year and his job is not dependent on the economy.

Physician's Assistant - I know a lot of young people want to be a doctor, but PA's get a lot of medical training and can function as near autonomous primary care physicians in the right setting, or essentially as permanent resident physicians. Doctor's love having you around; once you're in a practice long enough, I've heard many doctor's will give your opinions equal if not more weight than other physicians. The pay is also excellent; I've heard people say it's half the work/training for 90% of the pay of a physician - it's food for thought.

Electrofishing - A pal of mine performs fisheries research in Canada and gets to catch fish all day with electricity to determine populations, tag the fish and release them back into the wild. Spend all summer in the mountains and write reports on your findings in the winter. BEST JOB EVER.

Low Voltage Technician (a.k.a. Satellite / Cable guy/gal) - You're out on your own, virtually unsupervised after training. See different sites every day. Decent career path to management or senior tech. New technology all the time. And as much talk as there is about cord cutting, a vast majority of households still have some form of copper to their home for tv or internet. They make more than some of my friends who have degrees, and there's no certificate or college program required. Show an interest, and your local cable, satellite or phone company will probably hire you. It's a recession-resistant career, and you can find work anywhere in the world.

Railroading - Railroads are hiring like crazy. You don't need a degree for most of the jobs in the field. If you do want a degree they'll pay for you to go to school once you've been with the company for a year. It's easy to move up and they don't pay into social security - they have a completely separate retirement fund. A 20-year old locomotive engineer makes around $100k a year with no prior work experience.

Math - Take math as far as it can possibly go, no matter what your major is, because to be an EXPERT in any field means to know the math behind it. You can do EVERYTHING with advanced mathematics. Even if you don't become a scientist, at the very least you'll quickly be a department or regional manager.

Optical Engineering - 100% job placement, 6-figure average starting salaries with 4 years of schooling/training, entirely because of the mismatch in demand/supply of qualified people. Designing and building optical systems for everything from your SLR camera's lens, to MRI medical imaging, to Heads-up displays like the Oculus Rift. The best part about it is how diverse the field is - a mixture of engineering, science, computer programming, and hands-on fabrication trade skills all centered around simple trigonometric equations - it's mostly triangles. The work is fun and the pay is great no matter what level of schooling you get, whether it's a Bachelors, Masters or even PhD. There are three premier optics programs in the US at the UArizona, URochester, and CREOL - but plenty of other smaller programs around the US and the world.

Welding - Welders are in great demand and will make $80k starting out and have the potential to be making over $100k with experience. A friend of mine is a chemical plant manager and he said that he pays his engineers $110k and he is worried that they aren't paying enough.

HVAC - Heating and Air. It's a skilled trade which requires minimal physical labor and pays $75-$95K starting wages. Takes 2 years to get your education and the courses are dirt cheap and the jobs are in huge demand. Employers are asking job seekers to join the organization, they  pay for the education, and they'll wait for them to get certified.

Food Science - It's a growing industry because as the population increase more and more people must eat, and everyone has to eat! Because of this, it's very rewarding, and if you weren't aware, the food industry has lots of cash. A client of mine is paid exponentially more than many of my friends do, and it's only her first year out of college. In fact, she's well ahead of the average US salary. Additionally, the employment rate is near 100%, and for graduating students in food science have 100% job placement (which few majors can say). Also, it's one of those majors that will never trend or be posted on Yahoo as a growing area, so the market never gets flooded for food scientists and they are always in high demand.

Patent Analyst - Most patent analysts love their job. They wake up every morning with a new analytic problem to solve and get paid for using their brain power. They learn about the newest tech while it's still in a 'skunkworks' phase and try to describe how they will change the world. What better job is there?

Industrial/Organizational Psychologist - Amazingly great job that lets you branch into academia, organizations, or consulting. Allows you to focus on different aspects of organizations - restructuring, selection, retention, leadership development, etc. Can also go into "Data Scientist" roles. These pay $100K-$250K starting off.

Actuary - Only if you're good with math. You need a bachelor's degree - you can start working and taking tests to become fully certified. While you work, you get time on the job to study for exams. Pay depends on how many exams you have passed. If you have all of the exams completed, minimum pay of around $150k. You can make well more than that and there is lots of room for promotion. Probably the easiest and fastest route to becoming a VP of a company if you're a hard worker.

Image provided by bpsusf at Flickr. Info gleaned from research on Reddit.

Top 10 Reasons Why You're Not Getting A Job.

As a business and career coach, I run into so many different people every day. I attend conferences and events, I run workshops and webinars, and I host team masterminds for all types of professionals. And guess what? When I talk to the unemployed, I've heard all the excuses why you don't have a job. Here are the top ten realities of your job search today:

1. You're waiting for the phone to ring or the limo to pull up to your house and whisk you off to your new position.

This is my #1 pet peeve when I host job-search workshops. People say they are busy, they're sending out resumes, but the reality is they are mentally waiting for a knight in shining armor to whisk them away to a new cushy position. Guest what . . . it's never going to happen. NEVER.

Unless you're a recently fired CEO with massive connections to firms who want to hire you and subsequently ruin their company, no one is going to call and no one is driving up with a black stretch limo. Once you realize you are on your own and only YOU can change your situation, it's time for a mental ass-kick to get your head on straight.

What To Do: You want an mental ass-kick? Start listening to motivational speakers to keep your mental energy level up and constant. Check out Zig Ziglar, Dale Carnegie, Jeffrey Gitomer, and my favorite Bennie Hsu at Get Busy Living Podcast. He's the best!

2. You rarely go out.

You get up at 9 AM, you probably don't take a shower, you get dressed in your old geriatric Adidas sweatsuit, and sit in front of your laptop. WRONG!

What To Do: Get up at 5 AM, go for a walk/run outside, take a shower, and get dressed in real clothes. You don't like it? TOUGH. This is your workday and for the next 8-10 hours, I am your drill sergeant and you will deliver 110% looking for a job every Monday through Friday. Set up a schedule which takes you outside every single day. Meet people for coffee, hit the library, go to the gym, walk around the park. Strike up conversations with people — you never know who you will meet.

3. You check the web for postings, send out a few resumes, and watch Ellen, Rachael, and Jerry the rest of the day.

Unemployment is not a vacation. You have to attack your job search like any project you've ever delivered at work.

What To Do: You have to:

• Focus on the marketplace - What companies are doing well? Where are the growth areas? Who are the movers and shakers?
• Analyze your attributes against your competition - Do a SWOT (strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, threats) analysis on YOU. Figure out how you leverage your strengths and opportunities.
• Develop key targets to go after - Analyze your commuting radius, find out all the potential industries and organizations within your circle, and begin to make a hit list.
• Execute - Go after each one incrementally in a cascade pattern to ensure you are not inundated with tasks, but your search is progressing in a healthy fashion.

4. Your industry has changed.

You actually thought people were going to buy slide-rules FOREVER. Yes, that's right, you're industry is changing. And guess what? Everyone's industry is changing. Some are morphing into other forms, some are merging, many are shrinking, and a lot are just plum going out of business. If you thought you could keep your job or profession for 30 years, I have a DeLorean to sell you.

What To Do: Figure out where your industry is going and either stick around for the very bumpy ride or jump off at the station for the next train. Get to thee library, my dear young minstrel and start understanding what is really happening in the marketplace. Read the WSJ, Medium, BusinessWeek, Fast Company, Inc, and Foundr. Also meeting with industry luminaries doesn't hurt either.

5. You're too old.

Where did the time go? You were having so much fun as an executive in a corner office working on strategy and mergers, you never saw the axe coming for you until it was too late. Now you're 55 and no one wants you. Let me rephrase that — no 20-year old in HR wants you. The minute they do the college graduate math in their head (or on their calculator), your résumé is flying faster than a 767 into the circular file. And the funny thing is you keep doing it.

What To Do: Stop repeating something which doesn't work and expecting something different. You have to get out of the HR/Recruiter trap and move up the ladder and meet/engage/schmooze the hiring managers. Go to industry events, reach out to them via LinkedIn/Twitter, and google their name to get to know them. Then reach out and try to meet them.

6. You're too young.

Where did the time go? You were just in college wowing them with your 4.0 GPA and now no one will take your calls because you have no experience.

What To Do: It's time for you to get some experience! You need to call in every chip on the poker table of life and have them connect you with possible paid intern/entry level positions. Let's get real — you might have a little bit of knowledge, but your don't have the experience to hit deadlines consistently, run a meeting, handle an angry client, manage a boss, or run a complex project. You have to take a small hit position/salary-wise and build up those talents before you really hit the big leagues of life.

7. You're unrealistic about your position and your salary.

"Look, I was Vice President of Strategic Initiatives with a yearly base salary of $275K. Why doesn't anyone want me?"

What To Do: There are a finite number of positions out there which might fit your position/salary requirements, but you will never find them in time. I know, you might run into them, but most likely, NOT. You have to be a bit flexible on the Who/What/Where/How Much in the current marketplace. Try to broaden your scope and see what else is out there. It might not be a VP position, or one drowning in strategy. It might be a bit lower than $275K a year — but then again, it's higher than the $0/year you're pulling in now (great tax benefits though).

8. You have a glass-half-empty mentality.

No one likes a whiner. I just spoke with a prospect this week who could not stop talking about all the bad bosses and decisions they've made in the past 10 years. The first rule of your job search: Never, ever, say bad things about your past. Not only does it cloud anyone's opinion of you, it brings your mental state down into the basement.

What To Do: Start imagining what life would be like if you had that wonderful position RIGHT NOW. Where would you be? Who would you be working with? What would you be doing? How would you get there. Stop thinking and feeling guilty about the past and start preparing for your glorious future. Get your head half-full immediately.

9. You're afraid of Thinking Big and reaching out to the real power-brokers.

No one is going to think big for you (except me). You hamstring your search and actions by being risk-averse. You're afraid of rejection and will never put yourself in a position of actually touching key movers and shakers in your industry. No . . . you will continue to interview with 20-year-old HR reps who text more than they think and wonder why you don't have a killer position.

What To Do: Get a piece of paper and write down what would be your PERFECT job. Now actualize it in your universe — find those companies who fit the bill and reach out to the key people who run those positions. The funny thing is . . . these same people are always on the lookout for new talent. You're just not putting yourself onto their radar.

10. You've given up.

You've tried again and again to get a job offer, an interview or even a solid connection and it seems the cards are stacked against you. It's been years since you've worked and you're draining your savings account to keep your household afloat.

What To Do: You can always try again. Take a different tack, work on an alternate strategy, reach out to new people. In fact, I just worked with a client who was unemployed for two years and within three months, he had a number of offers and took an incredible job. You never know where your next break will occur.

Free image provided by iStockPhoto.

"If You Don't Build Your Dream . . . Someone Else Will Hire You To Build Theirs."

A number of years ago, I turned 40 and for my birthday, a good buddy from college sent me a book. I read that book in two days and it totally changed my vision, my perspective and my life. That book was "Tuesdays With Morrie". If you haven't read it, pick it up TODAY. It taught me that life is fleeting and to spend each day enjoying life, your work, your family, and your friends. I spent too much time worrying at my job and seeing too many projects deferred by bad management. I experienced too many manager making too many bad decisions based on emotions and politics and not on facts and ethics. I realized I was no longer doing what I really wanted to do.

It took three 'insights' to help me realize my situation and deliver a solution.

My first insight was Tuesdays With Morrie.

My second insight was signing up for the Dale Carnegie course and attending all 12 sessions. Not only did I meet 50 wonderful professionals from all walks of life, I had an incredible instructor who helped me better understand my future career.

My third was hiring a coach to help me make the transition. He helped me rationalize the erratic fears of leaving a six-figure position for an unknown coaching practice that might fail. But he helped me understand what needed to be done, put goals and activities in place, and make the jump.

And many years later, I'm doing better every year — blowing away my past salaries and making more than I've ever dreamed. Yes — I have to work harder sometimes — but this is MY business. On the other hand, I am in COMPLETE CONTROL of my products, my promotions, what I write, what I do — and I have the flexibility many people wish for.

And the best part? I've helped hundreds of clients make the same jump from crazy corporate to owning their own business. And they hug and thank me every time they see me (they're my best cheerleaders).

So — take the plunge — step out of your comfort zone and start your own business. Come on in — the water's fine.

I leave you with Emerson, who also said (in Self Reliance): "In every work of genius we recognize our own rejected thoughts: they come back to us with a certain alienated majesty. Great works of art have no more affecting lesson for us than this. They teach us to abide by our spontaneous impression with good-humored inflexibility then most when the whole cry of voices is on the other side. Else, to-morrow a stranger will say with masterly good sense precisely what we have thought and felt all the time, and we shall be forced to take with shame our own opinion from another."

Image provided by Monika Majkowska at Unsplash.

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