I Need To Have A Serious Conversation With You . . .

It's Friday — time to talk about the big things in life. I've been coaching for 15+ years and I frequently recognize certain situations and problems clients run into time and time again. I thought I would document some today . . .

1. Stay in the present.

If you live in the future, you will get anxious — if you live in the past, you will get depressed. Generally, you have eight sleep hours, eight work hours, and eight personal hours — focus on what's in front of you. It's the only thing that you have the power to change or to shape or to use. It's your canvas. It's your material. So use it well.

2. Your happiness is not something to pursue — it is a by-product of doing the right thing. 

So many people try to 'attain' happiness — and then get frustrated when it slips through their fingers. Try to focus on whatever the right thing is - and happiness will follow. Angry at yourself that you got nothing done during the day? Maybe it's because you slept in late, you spent your workday surfing fun sites, and had an overly-long lunch.

On the surface, each of these behaviors should make you 'happy' — but I've found that when I'm feeling most depressed, its usually based on actions I either did or (more importantly) did not do. Don't hunt for happiness — it will come when you do the right things.

3. You've been sold a fake idea of what success really is.

You're being played — everyday, everywhere. On TV, the street, when talking with friends or family - it seems like everyone confuses the concept of rewards with success itself.

When it comes to money, fame, recognition, praise, the rewards usually belong to someone else. That's wrong. Think of success as sustained effort of will. It begins and ends with YOU, and no one else. NO  ONE  ELSE.

Think of any goal you may have — say, you've always wanted to be a highly successful businessperson. Close your eyes and imagine it. What does that look like?

I guarantee you're thinking about big offices with lots of people buzzing around, jetting off to far-away lands for lunch meetings,  and being interviewed by Fast Company, Forbes, or the Wall Street Journal.

In reality —  you're fantasizing about BEING a great businessperson and not actually doing the work to become a great businessperson. This thinking is deceiving because it places the emphasis on passive recognition over active, sustained effort.

If you shift your focus onto your own actions and the more you create a sustained effort, the more likely rewards will follow.

It's that simple.

P.S. Are you caught in one of these three traps? Let’s talk. I’ve worked with people from all over the world who wanted to take aggressive steps in their career — call me to schedule a complimentary session.

Are You Happy?

There are a lot of people out there who aren't happy. They hate their job, they hate their boss, their business is dysfunctional, or they are no longer motivated.

As a coach with a worldwide audience, this is a common symptom I find occurring throughout the world. Many people aren't happy.

They might be worried about their job. They might be afraid of making the wrong decision. They might hate management for they myriad ways they make bad decisions.

They might be worried about their customer base, or competition, or a massive change in the industry which will leave them behind.

When I run into someone who isn't happy, I give them three simple choices:

1. Do nothing. Keep complaining and do the same ol' thing.
2. Change the dynamic. Modify a process. Change your attitude.
3. Move. Get out and move on to another opportunity.

It's that simple. I never point people to #1 — they will remain unhappy and never change. I always point people to #2 — change something in their career or business that will make a substantial change to make them feel happy and energized again. If that doesn't work — we immediately move to #3 — get out ASAP.

When you're unhappy, you usually have lost control or direction. You need to re-acquire your bearings and change your situation. If you don't, it's just going to get worse — you will care even less, get frustrated more often, and eventually get sloppy about how you deliver your work. You ultimately get fired or your business closes. I see it happen ALL THE TIME.

So if you're unhappy — CHANGE THE DYNAMIC. Alter something with your business or job — just pick ONE area and try something new.

"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude." - Maya Angelou

Ask Rich Gee: Career Questions From Quora.

Frequently, I am asked questions from people within the website Quora — I try my best to answer most — but candidly, there are too many. Here are some of my best answers to great questions concerning people's careers:

What is more difficult in the long run, working for a company or running your own business?

Both are difficult and rewarding in their own ways:

• Company - you have a boss to keep happy, you have set work hours, you get a regular paycheck, you get a paid location to work at, you get benefits, and you also get jerk bosses, the chance to lose your job instantly, cancelled projects, and frequently depressed coworkers.
• Business - you have a clients to keep happy, you have flexible work hours, your paycheck is based on how hard your work and hustle, you get to work at home, you get to pay for your own benefits, and you also get no jerk bosses (but jerk clients), the chance to lose your clients at the drop of a hat, cancelled projects, and you might be frequently depressed.

All kidding aside (but I was telling the truth) - both have their ups and downs, sometimes you feel in control with both, and sometimes you feel out of control with both.

I've done both - 20 years in corporate - 14 years coaching - and both are hard/easy, rewarding/frustrating, but all in all - it's a great ride.

My suggestion? Start a company.

How long does it take to settle in at a new job?

On average - 3-6 months. Not only do you need to meet, develop and hone relationships with key people, you need to learn the whole business - how it works, what are the levers/movers, what are the clients like, etc.

You also need to see how the company reacts to emergencies, slow-time, reactive decisions from management, and industry shifts.

I hate to say 'settle in', because when I'm settled, I'm bored. You need to constantly challenge yourself - do new things, meet new people, etc.

Where on their resumes might long-term unemployed job candidates address their current career gaps?

Are you not getting traction with your current résumé? (a lot of opportunities/recruiters/hiring managers passing on you?)

If not, don't do anything. If so, and if the gaps are frequent and wide, you might want to fill in those gaps. Some suggestions:

1. You didn't sit on the couch all day and watch Jerry Springer. You probably did something - volunteered, side job, etc. Let them know.
2. Did you try to start a business? Did you do side work (consulting) that you were paid for? Let them know.
3. If you really didn't do anything for a LONG time and your résumé isn't getting traction, you might say you helped out a sick family member at home - most of the time recruiters might ask a small question, but it's happening more and more every day as our population ages. I know this might be a 'white lie' and a fireable offense - but if you are consistently striking out, you have to do something to change the dynamic.

#3 might rankle some readers — but there are a lot of people who are lost right now looking for a replacement job and they've gone YEARS without employment.

What kind of advice would you give to a 40-something starting a new job where she'll be working alongside 20-somethings?

1. Listen more than preach. You are not their 'sensei' right now, you just work with them. Also, be patient.
2. Ask questions. They might know more than you do. And they probably do.
3. Don't talk about your kids, your injuries, your parents, or any other 40+ year-old concern. 20 year-olds don't care.
4. Don't try to 'be cool'. Be yourself. Be interested, but be yourself.
5. Let them make their own mistakes. If they ask you for advice, then you give it to them. Ultimately, they will look to you as their 'sensei' if you do it right.
6. Try to do things that they do. If they invite you out for drinks, go. If they mention a band, listen to them. If they talk about a movie, check it out.
7. Compliment them. We tend to forget to do that with our younger counterparts.
8. Work out, stay in shape, eat healthy, and keep a close eye on your wardrobe style. You don't want to dress like Lou in MadMen. Also keep an eye on your hairstyle.
9. Look at your glasses style. Too many guys and gals wear really old frames they wore in high school. Get with the program and style up.
10. Grow an interest in some of the things they might be interested in - music, movies, books, theater, etc. If you show a sincere interest in their passions, they might ask you about yours.

Extra-Credit: Keep up with TECHNOLOGY. I'm 52 and get so angry at people my age who have problems, disregard or disparage simple technology I use easily. YOU LOOK OLD immediately if you have frequent problems with email, the web, your phone (get a smartphone), etc.

Start Looking For A Job By Mike Rowe.

Powerful words from Mike Rowe (Dirty Jobs host): "Stop looking for the “right” career, and start looking for a job. Any job.

Forget about what you like. Focus on what’s available. Get yourself hired.

Show up early. Stay late. Volunteer for the scut work. Become indispensable. You can always quit later, and be no worse off than you are today.

But don’t waste another year looking for a career that doesn’t exist.

And most of all, stop worrying about your happiness. Happiness does not come from a job. It comes from knowing what you truly value, and behaving in a way that’s consistent with those beliefs."

Mike Rowe  is an American media personality, actor and comedian best known as the host of the Discovery Channel series Dirty Jobs. He can also be heard as narrator on a variety of series and has appeared in recurring commercials for Ford Motor Company. 

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I Cried Last Night And Learned A Powerful Lesson.

I saw one of the most touching and inspiring movies of my life last night. Sitting in the movie theater with my family wearing 3D glasses, I was actually tearing up during many scenes of Pixar's new movie UP (by the way . . . don't walk - run out to see it TODAY. It will change your life and the way you look at life).

I'm a softie, but I NEVER cry at movies. And let me also state that I religiously see every Pixar movie. I will argue to my dying day that Pixar puts out the best movies for any age in theaters today.

But the best part - UP has a number of powerful messages. My favorite, and the one that should stick with you forever is: You are never too old to start your second adventure.

Many people go through life thinking that they only have one good 'adventure' in them. It might be their career, their marriage, their kids, college, etc. But let me say this - your life can be full of MANY new adventures! And here's the best part - they could get better and better!

So just when you thought it couldn't get better - go out there - grab life by the collar and make a new adventure for yourself. Take a risk, step out of your comfort zone, and push yourself to new heights. You can plan - or don't plan - just do. You might just surprise someone that is never surprised . . . YOU!

P.S. In posting this story, I just saw that I have no tags for the words "Adventure" or "Fun". Time to rectify that! More "Adventure" & "Fun" for Rich Gee!