Is Your Competition Waving As They Pass You?

On with one of my oldest clients this morning and came up with a spot-on analogy about a lot of organizational management today: Your company is a ship on the open sea and your mission is to navigate and guide it into port.

Your captain (management) wants you to take it in slow and steady, so they hit their schedule perfectly. They don't want to expend any more fuel, any more people, or take a chance by accelerating the ship to get to the port faster. It's the way they've done things for years and they are not changing.

Unfortunately, you're guiding the ship and you're seeing all of the competing ships (and some speedboats) passing you by in the night because they are going faster and using innovative techniques and strategies to beat you.

But the captain doesn't see this, because they're sleeping. But you do — and you tell them everyday that the ship needs to go faster and to develop innovative techniques and strategies like your competition.

The captain disagrees. "Slow and steady will get us into port on-time and on-schedule" (and the captain will be rewarded by management with a healthy bonus if this happens).

But you know the competing ships (and speedboats) will hit port way before you do, unload their cargo, sell their wares quickly, and be off before you realize it.

In addition, when they pass, they are making bigger waves that affect your ship's progress. But the captain maintains a slow and steady approach.

They are NOT LISTENING.

And you're seeing the future of your industry happen RIGHT BEFORE YOUR EYES.

And you're not part of it. You're a spectator. And the competition is EATING YOUR LUNCH.

Sometimes, the captain doesn't notice until it's too late — and then — and only then — they want you to accelerate. But it's too little, too late. And when you tell them, they get mad.

WHAT DO YOU DO? My ADVICE:

Don't open up the throttle — but you should subtly 'click' it forward just enough where management doesn't notice (at first), but where you begin to catch up, pace, and sometimes pass the competition. Add a resource, accelerate the deadline, increase the scope a bit, start a small skunkworks in the basement — but do something.

Also — EVANGELIZE your perspective and strategy all the time. You might be ridiculed at first — but after the competition beats you — you can stand there with a huge 'I told you so' face. They might listen to you next time.

You might get into trouble if management ultimately uncovers what you're doing — but no one was ever fired for doing the right thing and taking a small chance to advance the company forward.

And if you are reprimanded or fired, it makes a great story to tell when interviewing with the competition!

P.S. This happens ALL THE TIME. Think of Kodak, Blockbuster, and Nokia to name a few. What others can you think of?

Are You Crushing It Every Day?

“Love your family, work super hard, live your passion.” - Gary Vaynerchuk, from Crush It! Great words from Gary in one of my favorite books (I require all of my clients to read). He is spot on with this one.

See how he constructs the quote — Family — Work — Passion. Not the other way around.

Unfortunately, many of the C-Level clients I coach work it the other way and find they're not happy, they have a shitty marriage, they never see their kids or their kids hate them, and their only passion in life is putting in mucho hours on the job. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

Yes — you've got the three M's — Money, Mansion, Mercedes (or Maserati) — but deep down, you're not happy. Something is missing and time is running out.

So here goes — you can have all three — it's just how you look at them AND how you prioritize them. I am currently working with the CEO/Owner of a top engineering firm and we're currently spinning the sequence around to help him enjoy the benefits of his labor. He's built the organization from the ground up and now it's time to enjoy life!

NUMBER ONE RULE — Family Comes First. No exceptions.

I'm not saying to fill up your calendar with family-oriented activities and let work suffer. Within reason, try to start your workweek by making time for your wife/partner, kids, friends, etc. If there is a baseball game, a romantic dinner, a morning run, hiking at the park — make sure it is recorded and blocked off on your calendar FIRST.

Again, within reason — I understand you work for a living. But taking a vacation day once in awhile is fine, even encouraged. Leave work early to catch your son's or daughter's soccer game. Come in late because you took your family to an early breakfast at your favorite diner. You know, the one where you all sit together with no TV, no smartphones and just eat and talk.

ACTION: Get your assistant in your office right now and start blocking off your calendar. TODAY.

NUMBER TWO RULE — Work Super Hard. But work smart.

I know you work hard. That's how you got to your position in the first place. But what got you to the captain's chair probably won't help you stay happy there. You worked hard, put in the thousands of hours of blood, sweat and tears. You made all the right decisions (and a few stinkers). You made the right connections with the right people. YOU HUSTLED.

Now it's time to sit in the captain's chair and start delegating even more. Don't act like Captain Kirk and accompany the away team on every mission, stay on-board the Enterprise and direct your resources in strategic ways. What got you here isn't going to keep you here for very long without compromising your home life, your happiness, and your health. You're not getting any younger either.

ACTION: Look at all your meetings and start culling them down by 10%. Stop reading every email/text that comes in. Have your assistant monitor your information flow and decide what get priority. They're the gatekeeper — ensure they guard the gate.

Cut down on one-on-ones with everyone — start to develop a sharper pyramid reporting structure with very few people touching you (no more than 5-7) Remember the Godfather? He had three direct reports — his Consigliere (who died - morte), and two Capos — Clemenza and Tessio. That's it.

NUMBER THREE RULE — Live Your Passion. But find what your REAL passion is.

Too many C-Level executives hit the big show and start to abuse the passion that got them there. They forget the fun, innovation, excitement and give in to boredom, politics, and hitting the targets for their buddies on the board. The world becomes pedantic and the passion flows out of them.

They try to make safe decisions and safe moves, and impact their business, their organization, and their customers. They prioritize their bonus, their safety, and their reputation over what's really important. I know it's hard, but sometimes you have to sacrifice the temporary pleasures to fully engage with what really matters. It's not all money (and if you believe it is - READ THIS - another mandatory book I recommend to C-Level clients).

ACTION: Sit down and assess what your real passions are right at this moment. What gets your motor running? What gets you excited about life? What motivates you to do GREAT work? You need to re-establish a connection with your passion and make sure you fill up your enthusiasm gas tank every day.

Are you crushing it every day?

"No excuses. Make it happen." - Rich Gee

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Start Looking For A Job By Mike Rowe.

Powerful words from Mike Rowe (Dirty Jobs host): "Stop looking for the “right” career, and start looking for a job. Any job.

Forget about what you like. Focus on what’s available. Get yourself hired.

Show up early. Stay late. Volunteer for the scut work. Become indispensable. You can always quit later, and be no worse off than you are today.

But don’t waste another year looking for a career that doesn’t exist.

And most of all, stop worrying about your happiness. Happiness does not come from a job. It comes from knowing what you truly value, and behaving in a way that’s consistent with those beliefs."

Mike Rowe  is an American media personality, actor and comedian best known as the host of the Discovery Channel series Dirty Jobs. He can also be heard as narrator on a variety of series and has appeared in recurring commercials for Ford Motor Company. 

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A Memorial Day Management Test.

This isn't scientific. Let me state that right from the start. But . . . This test has worked for me during my 20 years of managing large teams in corporate settings.

First, enjoy your Memorial Day weekend. Relax. Have fun. Spend it with people you love.

When you get to work on Tuesday, get there early and observe your team members as they arrive. See how they act the first 30 minutes at work.

Are they grumpy? Are they not happy to be at work? Do they miss their long weekend? Are they complaining? Or . . .

Are they energized? Ready to hit the ground running with a smile? Did they have fun on the weekend, but now they are ready to make some money?

Short holidays are great opportunities to better understand your team's appreciation of their job.

If they come in grumpy —

• They might not like their job.
• They might not like what they do.
• They might be hitting obstacles.
• They might be checking out.

If they come in energized —

• They probably like what they do.
• They probably enjoy your role as their manager.
• They are probably crushing it with their responsibilities.
• They will probably stick around.

Again — this isn't scientific. But I've found if you gracefully approach the grumpy team members individually and find out what is missing in their work life, you might turn them around and energize them.

If people don't realize work is a part of life and you have to make the best of it, it's high time to find out if they've bought into this concept. Because if they're not consistently bringing their A-game to the office, you're going to receive sub-standard work and deal with stinky personalities.

And life's too short to deal with stinky personalities.

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The 3 A's Of Awesome.

Neil Pasricha's blog '1000 Awesome Things' savors life's simple pleasures, from free refills to clean sheets. In this heartfelt talk, he reveals the 3 secrets (all starting with A) to leading a life that's truly awesome. (Filmed at TEDxToronto.)

Catch Neil's blog here: http://1000awesomethings.com Catch more TED talks here: http://www.ted.com

Image sourced from video.

You've Got The Power.

“You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.”― Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

"I've got the power. Radical mind day and night all the time, Seven, fourteen, wise, divine, Maniac, brainiac, winning the game, I'm the lyrical Jesse James." — Snap, 90's German pop group

Now I've done it. How do I equate the great Marcus Aurelius with a bad one-hit-wonder pop group like Snap?

Easy. I want you to absorb the first quote with the logical/factual side of your brain and the second with the emotional/passionate part. Because each is important in their own way.

I love Marcus Aurelius. He's THE MAN. I regularly read Meditations to reinforce my personal belief structure. I also let it energize and motivate me to MOVE FORWARD.

What is Marcus really saying here? No one is out to get you. There is no bad luck. You haven't put yourself in a position you can't get out of (most of the time). YOU HAVE THE POWER.

Control your overall thinking (philosophy) and your thoughts (those millions of ideas you get every day). You will quickly realize you have unlimited power to do almost anything in your life or change any situation by just reaching inward and grabbing the strength we all have.

Unfortunately, we tend to focus on the emotional/storytelling side of our brain and let it rule our life and actions. We tell ourselves stories that we are not adequate, we are unlucky, we can never have the good things in life, and on and on and on. We slowly dig a hole full of made up stories when squeezed into a huge ball in our mind, and we find ourselves painted in a proverbial corner.

I run into this frequently with clients. They make themselves believe there is no other option, no alternative, no direction to go. They get frazzled, they lose hope, they break down, and the machine STOPS.

I'm here to tell you there's always another way. YOU have power over your mind. YOU have control over how you react to the outside world. Don't let emotions get the better of you. Here are some suggestions:

1. Separate yourself from your current location. If you're at the office, go for a walk. If your at home, step outside into your yard.
2. Meditate. Stop thinking of all the bad things. Turn off your phone. Close your eyes and meditate, pray or just clear your thoughts.
3. Put your problems in context. Are they really THAT bad? Or are you making them huge and impenetrable in your mind?
4. Get focused. When your problem is brought into real focus, begin to think of a number of ways to solve that problem — even if the solution is not in your power at this time.
5. Stay calm. Odds are you still have a roof over your head, food to eat and a family to love you. It's not that bad.
6. Stop playing the martyr. Most of all, NEVER feel like the world is out to get you. It isn't. It might feel that way, but it just the emotional side of your brain talking.
7. Use the emotional side of your brain and power it up with music, dance, art, etc. Fill up your emotional gasoline tank with energy to fuel our thoughts and deliver positive actions.

As Marcus also says, “The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts.” 

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Your Communication Skills Stink.

If you pare down your job or business — and take away all the extraneous stuff you do — the most important part is COMMUNICATION. Simple, two-way and CLEAR communication. I give you information and I get your response. You tell me to do something and I tell you when I can get it done. I explain the merits of my products and services and you buy. And on and on and on.

Here's the simple fact — it's not as easy as it looks. In fact, some people tend to screw it up most of the time and wonder why they are being listened to or why their people or clients are not doing what they've been told. Do you find yourself saying:

• "They just aren't listening!"
• "Why are my clients checking out?"
• "Why do I tell my team one thing and they do another?"

If you catch yourself saying these and other choice phrases — you might need to tighten up your communication style.

Communication is a very complex process. When you communicate, you need to keep a sharp eye on the person you are communicating to. Why? There are so many signals where you need to modulate your communication to ensure they are understanding what you're saying.

Communication is made up of two competing spheres:

1. Facts & Information (F&I) - this is the 'what' of the conversation. And usually where you do a good job of transmitting.
2. Emotions & Feelings (E&F) - this is the 'why' of the conversation. And usually where you do a bad job of transmitting.

To communicate effectively, you need to better balance the two. Most of the time, we spend 80-90% of our efforts in F&I and 10-20% in E&F. Unfortunately, in certain situations, you need to increase your E&F — but you don't — and this is where communication breaks down.

Why does this happen? Because communicating facts and information are easy — you just blabber away. Emotions and feelings take a certain amount of restrain — you have to ask questions, listen, and react to the other person's feelings and emotions. And that's hard for most people. It's the EQ (emotional quotient) of the conversation.

The bottom line — if you take the E&F into account and speak to it — your communication success will increase exponentially.

But how do you bridge that gap? Three steps:

1. Bring Them In.

Bring them into the conversation. If you find you are doing all or most of the talking, STOP. Start asking them questions, get their side of the conversation, issue, or situation. Then paraphrase what they said to ensure you are listening correctly, and then ask more questions. We tend to blabber on without a care about the person we are speaking with. One of my favorite phrases to use is "Tell Me More". If that fails . . .

2. Ask Them A Permission Question.

Pause and then ask one of these permission questions:

• May I offer a suggestion . . . ?
• Can we further explore . . . ?
• Would it be alright if . . . ?
• With your permission, can we . . . ?

These permission questions immediately stop the conversation, reverse it, and allow you to better understand what's going on in the head of the person you're speaking with. If that fails . . .

3. Tell Them A Story.

One of the best ways to bridge the gap between Facts & Information and Emotions & Feelings is to tell a related story, example or scenario. It adds weight to the conversation and allows the person to visualize and mentally illustrate what you're talking about.

Each of these steps allows the speaker — YOU — to better communicate, bring the client or team member into the conversation, and hopefully deliver better, faster and more clear communication to whatever you do.

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TED Talk: Amy Cuddy - Physical Dominance.

Body language affects how others see us, but it may also change how we see ourselves. Social psychologist Amy Cuddy shows how “power posing” — standing in a posture of confidence, even when we don’t feel confident — can affect testosterone and cortisol levels in the brain, and might even have an impact on our chances for success.

[ted id=1569]

This talk was presented at an official TED conference.

It's All About GRACE.

I was sitting in church last night during our Maundy Thursday service and as I was reading along in the cantata, one word kept popping up. GRACE.

And I realized, we all can do with a little more GRACE in our lives in how we treat other people. Honestly, when was the last time you used the word GRACE in conversation?

As you know, this is a business and career blog — so how do I incorporate GRACE into that?

The definition of GRACE is:

As a noun — simple elegance or refinement of movement or conversation.

As a verb — to do honor or credit to (someone or something) by one's presence.

So here goes:

1. When dealing with a direct report, add a bit more grace to the conversation. Show them a bit more refinement in your words. Even if they've done something wrong, try to credit them in some way.
2. At a meeting, comport yourself with a little more grace than usual. Listen to what other people say without barging in and giving them your perspective.
3. Be grateful you have a business or career and let others know it. Tell your boss or clients how much they mean to you. Honor them.
4. When meeting someone for the first time, show them how refined you really are. Don't be pushy, brazen, or assertive — simple elegance will take you far.
5. It does matter for any gender: If you're a woman, elegance and refinement come easily to you — use them frequently. People will be impressed and call you a 'sharp' executive. If you're a man, spend a bit more time giving credit or honor to people — they will start calling you a 'true' gentleman.

TAKE ACTION: Over the next week (or two), take a Post-It note and write GRACE on it. Whenever you have an opportunity to interact with another person, add a bit more of YOUR GRACE to the conversation.

You might not only surprise yourself — others will be surprisingly impressed.

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Life Hacks To Make Your Work Day Easier.

Sometimes, it's hard enough to get through the entire day. So I've research a number of psychological business 'life hacks' to help you accelerate the painful portions of your day and make them a little bit brighter. Always listen and find people's soft spots. Instead of being confrontational, be kind and also play those points. What they don't like, don't like to hear, what they like to eat, to do, to listen to. One minute of listening will open the gates to whatever you want to do with that person.

Compliment first. Sometimes I have conferences with parents and they come in on the defense. I find that complimenting them right away helps to ease into conversation and allows me to dominate more of the conversation. This helps in many other situations as well.

Get things done. Pretend you have a 5 minute deadline for just about anything. You'd be amazed what you can get done IN A HURRY. Shit that would have normally taken you a week.

Look good. If you praise someone to another person, that person is likely to attribute the positive qualities you mentioned to you. I remembered this one when my boss, during a performance evaluation, used the same 3 positive words to describe me that I'd used to describe a coworker a couple of months earlier.

Do you have a rival? Or just someone who seems to dislike you, ask them for a favor. It will completely overhaul their outlook. This is known as the Ben Franklin effect as he documented it quiet thoroughly with the delegate from Delaware.

Someone yelling at you? When someone is having a breakdown, even if they are targeting you and verbally attacking you, don't make yourself the victim. Listen to what they say, and speak to them calmly and rationally. Once they are calmed down, tell them how it made you feel and how they may have been in the wrong. When people are having a breakdown, their emotions have full control of them and you letting your emotions take over is only going to make things worse. Just remember, if someone is acting this way, its not to hurt you, its because they feel hurt. And they will be much more willing to admit it if you treat them as the victim and yourself as the offender. At least until they calm down.

Want to make friends? If you want someone to like you in any given situation try not to wholly disagree with their opinions. Instead, initially show some resistance to their statement(s) and as time progresses, begin to show them that you are coming around to their idea/ that perhaps you have changed your view. The fact that they believe they have changed you opinion something positive about your interaction that they won't forget.

Want to be attractive? Wear red. For women, the color red makes them exponentially more attractive. Research has shown that men will go to great lengths to do things for a woman in red that they would not do otherwise like give her money or even carry her across the street.

Interview body language. So something that we do that we don't realize is mirror the body language of people that we like, like our friends. If they sit crossed legged, we will. If they touch their face, we will. This goes back to the subconscious will to be more like the people that we respect. You can kind of "force" this though, say in an interview. Put a conscious effort into mirroring the body posture of your interviewer, but don't be obvious about it. Be nice and subtle. This will trick their mind into thinking they like you. After all, you are doing similar things with your body, why not!

Get them to talk about themselves. People are selfish and they love talking about what they do. Ask your interviewer as many questions about what they do for work and really listen. They will walk away from the interview in a good mood because they got to talk about themselves and they will then think that the interview went well.

Schedule meetings as early as possible. There's a ton of cognitive psychology research about the primacy effect which essentially states that items are more memorable if they are presented earlier. So if you're meeting with someone where the person will literally be in meetings all day, you will be more memorable if you go first. If you are unable to be first go last. Similarly, there is research about the recency effect, which states that items are also memorable if they are presented last, though the primacy effect is more reliable. Just try not to be stuck in the middle.

Are you debating a position? Don't give your stance first. Give your argument. In some self interest research that I did myself in my undergrad, I found that your persuasiveness is fragile and dependent on your social identity. For example, if you came out and say "I'm an atheist and this is what I believe," you are already seen as less persuasive and more biased because people already know why you are arguing what you're arguing; you have something to gain by convincing people. You're an atheist. What you should do is not say you're an atheist at all. Say "this is what I believe..." Because people don't have an assumption already in their mind, they will be more likely to view you as less biased. Bonus points if you're on the opposite side. For example, a conservative arguing for gay rights is going to be viewed as very persuasive and not biased at all because they literally have nothing to gain from holding that viewpoint while a homosexual arguing for gay rights does have something to gain and thus is seen as more biased.

Have to make or present an important choice? People will incline to chose the last choice presented to them. In her case, this worked because asking "Should I take a note (for said person) or will you call back yourself?" would lead people to calling back themselves much more often making her work easier. Now this doesn't work with all questions ("Do you want to go to Venice or Rome for holidays?") but it usually works with questions where the choice isn't that important. "Do you want to eat pizza or takeout Chinese?" is another good one. Put the choice you want them to take as the last one and pray they take the bait. Another protip: DON'T let them know you do this, or they may think you're putting your choice as the last one when that ain't necessarily true.

Want more confidence? You can affect your testosterone levels and convey mroe confidence by, simply, streching out and making yourself as big as possible for periods of 2 minutes! Watch this video. It WORKS!

Information for this article gathered from Reddit.

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Are You Feeling Guilty At Work?

I'm feeling guilty today. The funny thing is . . . I shouldn't. Every Tuesday, like clockwork, I attend my networking/sales team meeting with approximately 50 people.

It's called BNI (Business Networking International), a worldwide organization where businesspeople meet to learn about their services and deliver hot referrals (CLIENTS) each week. I find it powerful for my business (it delivers 40-45% of my clients each year) and wouldn't miss it for the world. In fact, if you have a business or a product to sell, BNI is THE place to go to increase your bottom line.

What happened?

Today, I'm missing my weekly meeting. I had to double-book a client over my meeting and could not schedule it for any other time this week. They HAD to meet at this time. And I did ALL the right things a BNI member should do:

I notified the leadership team of my absence.

I replace my open spot for the week with a great substitute who will do my commercial.

I let the visitor host team know of my sub so they could list them on our weekly roster.

And I did it all on-time, prior to our meeting.

I still feel guilty. I feel that I'm letting my colleagues down even though I've taken all the steps to ensure my absence is covered this week. Why do I feel guilty?

I feel like I'm letting my BNI colleagues down.

I feel that I'm missing out on something good.

That regular burst of enthusiasm I receive from attending will not be there this week.

Honestly, I shouldn't feel guilty. NOT ONE BIT. Why? Guilt is all about the PAST. And guess what? There's nothing I can do about it. NOTHING. It's in the past.

I've made a decision, I've prepared my absence — I've taken all the steps to ensure I shouldn't feel guilt about missing my meeting. So it's time to confront my guilt and realize I have to live in the present and move on from this 'fake' feeling. Why?

It's holding me back — I'm focusing on something that really doesn't matter.

I'm expending mental and physical energy towards a belief that is not true.

I'm not focusing on the present or planning for the future. This is where I can make serious progress towards my goals.

So the next time you feel GUILTY, remember it's all in the past and there's nothing you can really do about it. Take that guilt and repurpose its energy into the present and future. You will find yourself working faster, better, and with more enthusiasm.

Guilt is a mechanism for us to remember past mistakes so we don't repeat them — don't let it paralyze you.

I'D LOVE TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR GUILT AT WORK. LET ME KNOW BELOW.

"If You Don't Build Your Dream . . . Someone Else Will Hire You To Build Theirs."

A number of years ago, I turned 40 and for my birthday, a good buddy from college sent me a book. I read that book in two days and it totally changed my vision, my perspective and my life. That book was "Tuesdays With Morrie". If you haven't read it, pick it up TODAY. It taught me that life is fleeting and to spend each day enjoying life, your work, your family, and your friends. I spent too much time worrying at my job and seeing too many projects deferred by bad management. I experienced too many manager making too many bad decisions based on emotions and politics and not on facts and ethics. I realized I was no longer doing what I really wanted to do.

It took three 'insights' to help me realize my situation and deliver a solution.

My first insight was Tuesdays With Morrie.

My second insight was signing up for the Dale Carnegie course and attending all 12 sessions. Not only did I meet 50 wonderful professionals from all walks of life, I had an incredible instructor who helped me better understand my future career.

My third was hiring a coach to help me make the transition. He helped me rationalize the erratic fears of leaving a six-figure position for an unknown coaching practice that might fail. But he helped me understand what needed to be done, put goals and activities in place, and make the jump.

And many years later, I'm doing better every year — blowing away my past salaries and making more than I've ever dreamed. Yes — I have to work harder sometimes — but this is MY business. On the other hand, I am in COMPLETE CONTROL of my products, my promotions, what I write, what I do — and I have the flexibility many people wish for.

And the best part? I've helped hundreds of clients make the same jump from crazy corporate to owning their own business. And they hug and thank me every time they see me (they're my best cheerleaders).

So — take the plunge — step out of your comfort zone and start your own business. Come on in — the water's fine.

I leave you with Emerson, who also said (in Self Reliance): "In every work of genius we recognize our own rejected thoughts: they come back to us with a certain alienated majesty. Great works of art have no more affecting lesson for us than this. They teach us to abide by our spontaneous impression with good-humored inflexibility then most when the whole cry of voices is on the other side. Else, to-morrow a stranger will say with masterly good sense precisely what we have thought and felt all the time, and we shall be forced to take with shame our own opinion from another."

Image provided by Monika Majkowska at Unsplash.