Own a business? Do you have money collection issues? Manage a team in corporate? Are you missing deadlines?
You probably are a PUSHOVER. Let me explain.
Our natural instinct is to try to please, to perform or to get along with others. Sometimes, when we encounter someone with a stronger personality, we tend to bend our own rules to accomodate their needs.
I frequently mention with my clients the practice of looking at behaviors on a spectrum. For example, if you have a spouse/partner, one of you is probably a hoarder and one of you is probably a tosser. One throws away everything and the other saves everything. Hopefully, neither of you are at the extreme ends of the spectrum, but you are definitely not at the same point.
It's the same with being a pushover. At one end of the spectrum is a tree that bends with the slightest wind and at the other, a hard-ass SCROOGE who demands the last penny owed to them. Some of you might be at one end (the Scrooge) who demands all payment up front or pushes their team mercilessly to beat every deadline.
And you're probably not at the other end of the spectrum never billing a client or missing all of your deadlines.
But you're somewhere in the middle. And I guess, you're closer to the pushover than the Scrooge. Here's how to think about it.
The middle of the spectrum is THE PROFESSIONAL. That's where you want to be. Someone who moderates their decisions and actions based on the situation. Most of the time, you're the professional, handling projects and billing your clients.
Sometimes though, you will have to move slowly to one end or the other of the spectrum. With certain situations, you might give your team an extra day to complete their project successfully or allow a good client to pay you one week later. Other times, you might have to come down hard on your team to hit that deadline or bill your client in full prior to any more work can be accomplished.
You're not the hard-assed Scrooge or the Pushover — you're just being a Professional.
So next time the situation changes for you or your team, realize you can move up and down the spectrum to get what you really want.