Is there someone at work that brings out the anger in you? Even if you act kindly towards them, do they still cause consternation with you, your work, your meetings or your staff?
Have you ever heard the term, “Kill them with kindness”? Most of the time, pleasantness and joy in the face of rudeness may seem tough to maintain, but the end results are usually worth it. In my opinion, kindness is becoming an increasingly rare commodity in our society.
This is not going to be an easy exercise. In fact, it will test your patience and temerity with the intended colleague. Let’s face it, there are a host of problematic people who represent the entire spectrum of positive and negative behaviors (look at me!). You’re going to run into one or two of them everywhere you work.
If you attempt to try each of these techniques in order, you’ll find that you will not only suck all the negative energy out of that person, you might win them over to your way of thinking.
1. Agree Wholeheartedly
When you speak with them, smile, nod and agree. Agree with whatever is being said. Keep in mind while you're looking this person straight in the eyes, that it really doesn't matter who is right. If you know you're right about a situation, then that's that.
This person is looking for some level of disagreement and unfortunately for them, you are not playing into their trap. In fact, you are blowing it apart and it will puzzle them. Even if their demands or ideas are completely outrageous, say you see their point, agree with them.
They will see that their twisted needs aren’t being met and they will probably move on to someone else.
2. Ignore Them
You’ve probably also heard, “Turn the other cheek” — the act of turning away from aggression and ignore it rather than retaliate. If agreeing with them doesn’t work, just ignore them.
Don’t give them any of your time or any reason for them to persist in their abhorrent behavior. This is a great method to teach your staff too — once they see your behavior towards this individual, they can adopt it too.
3. Pour On The Syrup
This is the fun part — do you want to give them a taste of their own medicine? Deliver an increased dose of kindness towards that person by focusing a lot of positive attention towards them. Ask them about their weekend, see if you can help them with a simple task or item, or bring them a little gift. You might want to drop off an article that you read that they might enjoy.
Pour it on — go out of your way to make them feel a little bit uncomfortable with your attention. Be kind, not vindictive — focus on the positive. Odds are, the people around you will recognize what you’re doing and enjoy it, because they're probably in the same situation you’re in.
Do you have someone at work that causes bitterness and conflict?