"You can have a conversation with anyone — provided you actually care about what they say."
I'm genuinely curious about people.
So when I go out, I am intentional about being genuinely curious about people I run into.
I'll chat with the check-out people at my supermarket. I’ll interact with servers at a restaurant. I strike up conversations with people in waiting rooms.
People often question why I do this. To which my response is always; "you can always learn something new from a person. Even if it's just their name."
I've made it a long-standing habit to memorize someone's name upon meeting them. It’s hard to do — but if you focus, you will remember it.
So when I took my kids to their friend's birthday parties, I'm on a first-name basis with most of the parents. Even if I've only met them once. I'll introduce them to one another. Or re-acquaint us all together. A simple skill but socially fundamental.
Think about your own life — pick someone you barely know. Like a friend of a friend. Or your usual cashier or barista. After their names — what else do you know?
Relationships are built on rapport. That familiarity builds rapport. Being genuinely curious only helps reinforce it. It's also a master hack for charisma-building.
So once you've mastered the skill of charisma — it’ll open a lot of doors.
Additionally, another hack once you're good at memorizing names is to re-introduce yourself, when using someone's name; and give context: “Hey Molly — Rich, Chris’ dad. How've you been?"
It’s simple and frames the conversation towards familiarity — towards rapport.
It's such a subtle skill, yet can be pivotal. In how an interaction, conversation, and possibly a relationship, is framed.
You don't get a second chance at a first impression. So start honing that skill. It's easy to start with a name. Then continue to master being genuinely curious. Not just with people you're interested in — but to also find the interesting in people.
Go out and make it happen!