My first is John Neeman Tools. They are a small crew of craftsmen from Latvia who use their heritage of craftsmanship handed down through many generations to design and create woodworking tools. Their process, their method and mission, keeps these traditions and crafts alive and well. In this high-tech age, their traditional craftsmanship is flourishing.

John Neeman Tools is founded by Jacob – a carpenter with love for traditional woodworking and his friend – a village bladesmith. This bond has created a premier company.

They use their hands to produce tools that will live on, to tell their story in the hands of the craftsmen after us. Each tool they make is born with energy and personality – a love and care that will be felt daily by each craftsman, a resonance from the heart of the tool.

Towering factories and belching chimneys are not their game. All of their tools are made in our small traditional workshops using equally traditional methods and techniques. Their focus is on uniqueness and quality, not quantity. They want to help people to remember how to use their hands, to relate their own human energy to their tools – to achieve the true joy of creating something from humble beginnings.

You can learn more about John Neeman Tools and their products here.

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So without further ado . . . here are my second five lessons: 

6. Engage With New People

Tracy from my Executive Coaching group related: “One of the things I love to do is to engage with people I meet meaningfully, for example in cafes and businesses that I use. I have found the investment of time and interest in others has rewarded me hugely in feeling joyful. Don’t lose the feeling and save some you, for you. Thanks for sharing such a great time.”

Tracy is absolutely right - many times I had the opportunity to interact with many different people during my vacation. Since I am a slight extrovert, I tend to ask questions of people to get them talking. And I had many WONDERFUL conversations!

7. Connect With Nature

Diane from my Executive Coaching group: “I’d like to add one thing to your list, which I think you realized on the farm without saying it – connecting with nature. Nothing helps put things in perspective for you, or brings awareness to yourself, your surroundings and your connectedness with all things than being outdoors. For me, it’s the north shores of Lake Superior that completely humbles me.”

I love how Diane simply states the obvious - take the time to notice nature – and the benefits are endless.

Also, my good friend BJ said: “Great Post Rich. Vacations are essential. Even my short trip to VT did wonders! Don’t have to be an long or exotic to be mind adjusting.”

8. Recapture Your Childhood

Gary from a Dale Carnegie group exclaimed: “Having just returned from a week in Mexico with my family where I turned off my phone and threw it in the hotel safe, I fully agree with your five epiphanies. I also learned that it’s possible to zip-line upside down. What a rush!”

When was the last time you got permission to act like a kid? Not only is it fun — it energizes you and brings back all the playfulness of your younger years. In addition, it opens up your mind to all the possibilities (like a kid) and eliminates all of the obstacles we put in our way (like an adult).

9. Gain Self Confidence

Tom from my Entrepreneur team gave me a great quote: “Don’t put yourself on sale. This is my favorite mantra from financial guru Suze Orman. While Suze’s target audience is directed to women, the advice applies to everyone. When you skip vacations, you put yourself on sale. If you have 2-weeks of paid vacation and don’t use them, you’re essentially working for free. By committing to a vacation, you declare to yourself (and to others) that you are important and deserve dedicated time for yourself.”

Tom – you are spot on target! So many people don’t take the requisite time off and in the end, they suffer for it. If you don’t declare that you are important, who will? When I let all of my clients know about my impending vacation, they were overjoyed to hear I will be taking time off and heartily wished me a great time. What a great send off to get!

10. Impact People You Meet

Steve’s comment (from my Bulletproof Your Career club) threw me for a loop: “You get out of your social and professional circles. You are thrust into other spheres, worlds, and situations normally not encountered with your day t0 day meanderings. And when you bump into these people – they also bump into you and most of the time – are blown away with what YOU bring to the table.”

When you’re on vacation – you are bumping into a lot of people. People who you can affect — make their day better, get them up when their down, teach them something they may not know, or best of all — touch their soul.

I CAN’T SAY THIS ENOUGH: If you haven’t gone on vacation — GO. You can afford the time away from work. 

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Even though I was relaxing, I had a lot of time during our travels to think about what I learned during my vacation:

1. I disconnected from my practice.

I came back to 500+ emails — but I made sure prior to my vacation, to let all of my clients, colleagues and friends know I’d be gone and if they really needed to reach me, to call. No one called. The time away from email was energizing. Knowing every day that I could just get up and go for a swim, or a walk, or just sit and read gave me real clarity and focus.

It gave me the permission to clear out the cobwebs and focus on what really important — personally and professionally.

2. I watched people.

My disconnection allowed me to watch and engage people from all walks of life. It allowed me to see really bad service and really exceptional service during my time on the road. It

I walked around with a new sense of wonder — engaging people and asking them questions — how’s your day going, what’s it like to work here, do they ever see anyone famous, etc. It’s amazing how animated people get when they someone takes a sincere interest in their life.

3. I built deeper connections with the people I love.

One of the most important things I did was to spend time with my family — my wife and two sons (ages 11 and 16). We had a lot of fun relaxing at the farm and then sightseeing in DC. My two favorites — seeing my 16 year old son act as tour guide while we were in DC (I was so proud) and my 11 year old son have so much fun cutting down bamboo at the farm (he is a dedicated Mythbusters fan and will tackle any project with aplomb).

In addition, I spent quality time with my life partner. She and I have known each other for over 33 years (married 22) and still learn new aspects of one another every day. This vacation grew us closer together.

4. I had time to learn.

I spent a portion of my time reading and enjoying books. I also engaged with my older brother, his wife and sons and learned a host of new things about the world around me. We didn’t talk business — we talked more about the world and philosophy in general. When was the last time you did that?

5. I recharged my batteries.

Let me state — I was not ‘powered-down’ and in need of energy. I was okay — I was moving along just fine over the past eight months. But it’s like hooking you up to a powerful energy source (as in The Avengers movie, during the fight between Iron Man and Thor – Thor hit Iron Man with a huge bolt of lightning – and suddenly, Iron Man’s energy potential shot upwards of 400%).

It really got my mind working in higher gears and began to build up a reserve of energy to take me through the end of 2012. I am full of ideas and direction — stay tuned!

If you haven’t gone on vacation — GO. You can afford the time away from work.

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I finally had breakfast with my new and good friend, Eric Rochow.

Eric hosts one of the biggest Podcasts on iTunes, call GardenFork. I invited him a number of weeks ago to breakfast. Now the funny thing is, I don’t know Eric. And Eric didn’t know me.

When I first started to listen to Eric, I found out he lives in Brooklyn, NY during the week and then makes his way to his farmhouse in Colebrook, CT. I could easily identify with him because I have a rural country house in Oxford, CT.

One day, I ran a quick Google Map to find out the best route for Eric to drive from Brooklyn to Colebrook. And guess what? It went right by where I live, on the Connecticut interstate highway named I-84.

So I reached out to Eric by writing him a email, told him how much I appreciate his podcast, and offered to buy him breakfast on one of his sojourns up to his country home. It took a little while, but he responded back via Twitter — he not only accepted my offer, but was impressed with my site and what I do!

In addition, he invited me onto his show to talk about careers, business, time management, gardens, and generators. Click here.

So we finally had breakfast at the incredible Laurel Diner, located in Southbury, CT. We really enjoyed the conversation, the food, and to top it all off . . . Eric interviewed me again! Click here.

So the moral of this story is . . . if you want to meet someone — reach out and make it happen!

POST YOUR QUESTIONS OR COMMENTS BELOW

P.S. Having a hard time meeting important people? Let’s talk. I’ve coached thousands to step up their presentation game — call or email me to schedule a free session.

Photo by Eric Rochow (I was there) at Gardenfork. All rights reserved.

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WORK. WORK. WORK. WORK. WORK.

Next thing you know, it’s 6 PM and you’re wondering where the day went.

I want you to make a change today. Take just one of the 10-12 hours spent at work and GO TO LUNCH.

Not at your desk. Not in your cafeteria. Not with anyone you currently work with.

Have lunch with someone new.
Someone that energizes you.
Someone that will get you to think out of the box.
Someone that might get you to consider making a bold career move.

WHY? Because it’s good for your CAREER. Meeting new and interesting people:
Gets your mental energy moving.
Grows your professional network.
Allows you to search for future talent (so you don’t have to work with those pesky people in HR).
Allows potential management to look at you as possible future talent (that’s always good to have under your belt).

And frankly, your work won’t suffer one iota.

You need to do this more often. Why not the present?

Call that one person right now and make that lunch date. Do it. You’ll thank me.

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I also jumped out of bed every morning over the past two weeks (4:30 AM) to attend various networking/sales meetings to spread the word of the Rich Gee.

And I gave a major presentation to 150+ executives about how to market themselves. It was a big hit for me – most attendees gave me a 4 to 5 rating (on a scale of 1-5).

So the ‘development’ end of my business was in full gear too. What did it deliver? I received an avalanche of interest in my coaching and my phone has been off the hook. In addition, my site numbers are through the roof and I have a pack of new business cards that can choke a horse (all to enter today into my contact list for eBlasts).

Why am I telling you all this? Not to brag — but to illustrate how to grow from knowing a lot of people into a person a lot of people KNOW ABOUT.

You are the product – get others to meet you, talk with you, experience you. “Take you out for a test drive” as I call it.

People need to see you, experience you, to see what you’re working on.
They need to hear three things:

#1 What you’ve done.

This is your reputation – you need to advertise it. Don’t think people just know about it. That’s the mistake most executives make — they think their work speaks for them forever.

Don’t kid yourself. After the project is over, the major rollout complete, the client captured . . . people forget. Quickly.

You need to remind them frequently of your past successes. Not blatantly, but in general conversation. Mention how you worked with Tom when you rolled out that spectacular initiative or when Susan helped you lock in one of your biggest clients. Misdirect with someone else and then bring it back to you.

#2 What you’re doing.

People need to know the level of caliber they’re working with and you need to let them know the high-level and high-impact stuff you’re managing.

The secret ingredient: if you have to let people know what you’re working on, you’ll tend to focus on higher exposure projects. It’s like a class reunion, 3-6 months beforehand, you lose weight, get that liposuction done you’ve been putting off, and hit those wrinkles with botox.

I want you to do the same thing with your career. If you aren’t working on the high-priority projects — make sure you are.

#3 What you’re gonna do.

This is how you predict great opportunities for your career. When you’re out there, you’re finding out about what’s in store for the company, the industry, and everyone around you.

The most connected executives are actively letting key people know their ideas, strategies, and plans. They brainstorm at lunch, ask for ideas after work, and delve deeper with the management team over drinks.

The more you are a billboard and let the right people see what you’ve done, what you are doing today, and what you plan to do . . . the more high-level projects, positions, and promotions come your way.

Now go out there and let them see your billboard up in lights!

POST YOUR QUESTIONS OR COMMENTS BELOW

P.S. Need to figure out how to be a billboard? Let’s talk. This is one of the main areas I tackle first with all of my clients. If you’re not a client . . . grab your spot now before all the final spot for October is taken. Only one left — time is getting short.

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You not only have to have a lot of friends, you need get out there and meet new people, Period. End of story.

If you don’t want to do that — you will be expendable.

But most people don’t like to ‘network’. Well then . . . don’t. Connect.

In my opinion, the clear difference between Networking and Connecting is:

Networking: What can you do for me?
Connecting: What can I do for you?

It’s my definition, my differentiation, and here’s why I don’t like networking:

• It’s all me, me, me.
• It’s the clammy science of collecting business cards ad infinitum, of cold-calling strangers to grill them about possible openings or beg them for a favor.
• When most people don’t like networking, it’s because of the slimy nature of glad-handing strangers and constantly asking for something.
• It’s impersonal, it takes the average executive or entrepreneur way out of their comfort zone.
• I know when I meet someone and they network with me — I immediately see through their facade and want to get out of there ASAP.
• To the best of my knowledge, no one likes to be ‘networked’ to.
• Networking is awkward, it’s artificial, and more often than not, it doesn’t work that well.

Connecting is different.

• It’s noticing people, schmoozing with them, keeping in touch with them — and benefiting from them. You connect with people in a mutually productive and pleasurable way.
• You concentrate on the other person. Try to ask questions, minimize your blabbering, and listen to their answers.
• You build a solid relationship and try to connect with them on many levels.
• Instead of selling, you’re seeding. You plant the seed of your capabilities, service, or product but you don’t overtly go for the kill.
• You build the relationship to do something for them. To help them professionally or personally. It might be an article they are interested in, a piece of information, or even an introduction to someone you know.
• In the end, the relationship supersedes the sale. Every time.

So how do you connect? Here are the steps:

1. Be inquisitive. Ask a lot of questions and follow up questions. See below for the process.
2. If they ask about you, answer their questions, but don’t go on. You need to focus on them.
3. Try to find a way to connect with them — find a common place to share — maybe a location, a school, a business, a friend, something.
4. Ask follow up questions, “You live in Stamford? What part? High Ridge Road? I grew up near Rippowam High School!”.
5. Once you make the ‘connection’, you begin to build a rapport of trust between you and the person your connecting with.
6. Each subsequent question, follow-up question, and connection will build a stronger friendship bond between you.
7. When concluding the conversation or meeting, try to ensure you have some sort of deliverable or to-do for the person. It might be an article, a web site, an acquaintance you might know — to give to them at a later date. Do something for them – Givers Gain.
8. Ensure you do what you say you’re going to do.

What is the process to connect? Read this story:

“You are in front of a big, white home. You look down and see the mailbox, you look up and see your whole family waving to you, leaning out the top windows of the house. You look over and see a beautifully, ornate chimney with a huge, yellow, leather work glove sitting upon it with all five finger pointing in the air. The glove is holding an old, wooden tennis racket and a bi-plane (like the one Snoopy flies) breaks through the strings of the racket, flys around your high school, comes to a soft landing on your football field and touches the goal post.”

This story is a mnemonic. It teaches you how to connect with someone by encapsulating key questions within an inane, weird story you’ll remember. Let me break it down:

• Mailbox - Hi, my name is Rich Gee. What’s your name? Where do you live? What part of Wilton?
• Family waving to you – Are you married? Do you have kids? (if they say no, don’t feel uncomfortable, just say, “Boy are you lucky!”
• Huge leather work glove – What do you do? Where do you work? What is it like to work there?
• Wooden tennis racket – What do you do for fun? What are your interests?
• Bi-plane - Do you travel for business? Did you go on vacation this summer?
• High school - Where did you go to school?
• Football field - What sports are you into?
• Goal post - What goals are you shooting for this year?

All I ask is that you try it. I used to do it all the time waiting for my daily train to work. Standing next to someone, I would say something witty (“Seems like the train gets later every day as it gets colder.”), get them to smile, and then introduce myself. The hint with each question is to be enthusiastic and use many follow up questions. Be inquisitive and have fun!

POST YOUR QUESTIONS OR COMMENTS BELOW

P.S. If you’re having problems connecting with people, let’s talk. This is one of the main areas I tackle first with all of my business clients. If you’re not a client . . . grab your spot now before all the spots for October are taken. Time is getting short.

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Yesterday was a powerful day for me. Thursday is my networking day and I met over 100 people starting at 6:00 AM all the way to 8:00 PM. A long day.

But I was energized when I got home.

Here’s a quick synopsis:

5-6 AM – Commute (beat the traffic!)
6-7 AM – Blog at Starbucks, meet new people.
7-9 AM – BNI Networking Meeting – My Sales Force.
9-11 AM - Catchup Meeting with an influential force in Finance.
11-2 PM – Lunch and Brainstorming meeting with a future partner.
2-4 PM – Meeting with a new colleague – helping with his job situation.
4-6 PM – Mastermind/Networking Group – a great time was had by all.
6-8 PM – Client’s Grand Re-Opening Celebration – lots of networking.
8-9 PM – Commute home (listen to motivational audiobooks).

I made a lot of new friends and deepened relationships with many current ones.

Bottom line — this is the life-blood of my business and career.

An esteemed colleague quoted Michael Gerber last night, “Most entrepreneurs fail because you are working IN your business rather than ON your business.” He couldn’t be more correct.

I came home last night with a pile of new business cards, a bunch of referral slips, and a small list of to-do’s to get out by the end of the day today. 

I made new friends. I deepened relationships with current friends. And I hope I helped a few people along the way.

That’s the profession I’ve chosen — and I love it every single day.

What do you do to make new friends during the work-week?

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1. Communicate effectively with your potential client base.

You need a killer web site — not just one that sits there. It must actively reach out and grab prospects. So it will take a lot of work, but you’ll see results immediately. In addition, design great business cards, brochures (sometimes), and a powerful 30-second talk about what you do.

2. Work with people smarter than yourself.

This has two angles:

1. If you don’t know how to execute something critical for your business, hire someone. I know it will cost money, but most people think they can do it themselves. Result: it takes forever to build/implement, it’s wrong, and then they ultimately hire someone to clean up the mess.
2. Get clients who add to your knowledge base — help them in one area, but be a knowledge vampire and suck out key strategies, tips, and avenues you will embed into your company.

3. Develop a networking relationship with your competitors.

I actively court coaches, while most of my counterparts are wary and shun theirs. Not only is it a ‘good’ thing to do (embrace everyone), but you find the differences between your vocations and allows you to give referrals to one another.

4. Create packages to meet your client’s needs.

The first time out of the gate, you usually have to guess what your clients requires — so you need to remain flexible and change your offerings slowly. Initially, I used to coach for an hour, but found the extra 15 minutes turned into a coffee klatch, so I shortened my sessions to 45 minutes. It’s perfect — and if I really need extra time for an extra-special client, I have it.

5. Do pro-bono work for charitable organizations.

The bigger, the better. Not only does it position you in a wonderful light, it throws you into a mix of influencers who truly appreciate your skills. The more visibility you have, the more people know about you. In addition, always take on a number of pro-bono clients each month — it’s just the right thing to do.

6. Write an eBook for your target market — and give it away.

You need to harness the knowledge/experience in your brain and spread it out into the marketplace. Most businesspeople tend to hoard it like a miser — successful people freely expose it to the world and clients come banging at their door. It doesn’t have to be long — just put a few powerful ideas in a short article, give it a snappy title, and offer it for free on your site. Also, have copies made and hand it to anyone who breathes.

7. Set Up “Power Meetings”.

Master the act of  networking with the right people. Most men and women tend to meet with anyone — you’ll quickly find out there are many ‘time-wasters’ who might be fun initially, but in the end, suck valuable money from your pockets (time is money). You know who your target market is (if you don’t, call me) — chase and connect with them.

8. Work at least two hours a day to get clients.

“Rich are you crazy?” No, I’m not. You should be meeting, setting up lunches, expanding your website, talking on the phone and a myriad of other strategies to get clients. My motto — if business is good, slowly power down your marketing. If business is bad, rocket up your marketing. But always find at least two hours a day to keep your client pipeline full and healthy.

9. Master the cold call approach.

Face it — ultimately you will need to reach out to strangers to get the business you want. Don’t procrastinate and never do it — learn how to reach out to key targets, entice them, and get in front of them. If you do your homework, for every strikeout you will hit a home run (and sometimes a grand slam), trust me.

10. MCA – take massive action.

MCA stands for Massive Client Acquisition — the state of mind where you need to target, hunt, and capture large swaths of your client base. Take the necessary steps to grow your clientele — get out and network, reach out via a killer website, thrill people with your abilities, give away your intellectual capital, wear huge holes in your shoes, and lose your voice from all the talking you will do.

Bottom line: Think like a salesperson — you need to get up every day and get your butt out the door. Stop putting distance between you and your prospects — close the gap and you’ll have to begin turning them away.

What else do you do to get clients? If you’ve tried any of these tools, how did they work?

Image provided by brendan-c at Flickr.

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Candidly, most of it is a blur. But there are some ideas, certain quotes, and golden rules that tend to stay true and strong in my professional life (and my coaching). So I thought I would write them down and make a list to start off the week:

1. “If you want to be successful, you have to build a ladder rung by rung.  There are no shortcuts.”

There are a lot of people out there looking for a silver bullet. And there are a lot of people who promise instant success. My experience over the past 30 years — it takes hard work and a certain amount of time to build something that really matters and delivers true revenue.

2. “Don’t waste your time on jealousy.”

This is a big one — I can’t tell you how many people I’ve run into in corporate and in the business world who thrive on cattiness and gossip. Although I totally understand competition to drive you and I, I don’t understand how it evolves into its addictive cousin, jealousy. It will distract and poison your personality.

3. “Stop being the “YES” person.”

You can’t walk down the hall without running into one of these. As a peer, they are so easy to spot — they tend to manipulate their superiors by delivering whatever pablum is needed to sustain their vicious life-force. Unfortunately, as a boss, it’s hard to differentiate between someone who actually believes in you and someone who is just shoveling more manure.

4. “No matter how bad a situation you are in, remember, it could have been worse.”

I love this one. I want you to brand this in your brain the next time something dreadful happens. Instead of focusing on the negativity of the current situation you are in, take a few minutes and realize it probably could have been much worse. You’ll find after doing this exercise, a lot of your guilt has washed away and you can now focus on the problem at hand (and fix it!).

5. “Surround yourself with the right people: staff, mentors, colleagues, etc. People make all the difference.”

It’s not what you know – it’s who you know. Go out there and double your connections this year. People are currency in any marketplace.

6. “Don’t believe everything you hear.”

WOW. I can’t tell you how many clients come to me every day with prognostications about the economy, their industry, their competitors, and so-called experts who spin fear to get you to buy their latest ‘Sham-Wow’. Take everything with a grain of salt — think about it and really try to understand it — usually it’s full of hooey.

7. “The best place to find a helping hand is at the end of your arm.”

Only YOU can change your situation. Yes, I know you should rely on outside help, friends, and colleagues to make things happen. But when the chips are down and you definitely need things to happen — it’s always up to you to start the process.

8. “The way it’s always been done isn’t always the way to do it.”

If I had a dollar for every time I heard, “That isn’t the way we do things around here.”, I would be living on a lush, tropical island. Corporate drones thrive on the absence of change — and your job (if you choose to accept it) is to prove them wrong. It’s the only way everyone moves up and the company evolves.

9. “If everyone likes you, you’re probably boring.”

I love this one — my mother told me this a long time ago. If everyone likes you, you probably aren’t rocking the boat, taking chances, and embracing risk in your life and relationships. Don’t strive for the status quo, add a little pizzazz to everything you do and everyone you meet. You’ll thank me (and my Mom).

10. “Work smarter, not longer.”

If you work with me, this is Rich Gee’s Golden Rule. And the funny thing, when I first say it to new clients, they think I’m crazy. They point me to #1 on this list and say “we have to work hard”. I totally agree — you have to work hard and SMART. Figure out ways to streamline, delegate, and retire everything you do. Work on the important stuff and get rid of the fluff we like to consume our workday.

What other great pieces of advice guide your professional life?

Image provided by Solo at Flickr.

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Something wonderful happened to me yesterday.

Well, let me start from the beginning — I wanted to get the new iPad. Badly.

In fact, I gave up all Christmas & Birthday presents to save up for one. So I was primed to get the iPad2 once I heard that the new release was slated for March.

When the iPad came out on Friday, my family and I traveled to the closest mall to see if we can see one (and secretly get one!).

You’ve probably heard — the lines wrapped throughout the mall — hundreds of people waiting for hours. We never got to even enter the store. I went home thinking we would show up the next day (when the lines went down) to pick one up. Guess what — all stores were totally sold out.

What I forgot to add is that I made a quick phone call to my good friends, the business managers at the Apple Store, prior to all of this technology hoopla. I asked them, “If the iPad came in, could they hold one for me?”. I then proceeded to forget about this call after hearing the pent-up demand and ‘no inventory’ news.

One quick detour to talk more about the Apple Business Managers. They’re the BEST. As a successful entrepreneur, I need a flawless technology platform. The Apple Store does it for me. They go out of their way to make any purchase (I have four MacBook Pros, two iMacs, three iPhones, and about twelve iPods, iTouches, Nanos, and Shuffles hanging around the office and home). Whenever ANYTHING goes wrong, they have impeccable client service that is available and flawless. I LOVE going to the Apple Store.

Now back to yesterday. I was at Pepe’s Pizza, hosting my son Andrew’s 10th birthday party with a gaggle of kids. I get a call from my one of the Apple business managers — not only has he saved an iPad for me from a secret shipment that he received this morning, he also will give me a discount on my purchase.

WOW. I ran down to the store and picked it up. It’s beautiful.

Why am I telling you this story? It’s based on all the business I sent the way of this business manager. And many of my friends, colleagues, clients, and acquaintances that I’ve also sent to that particular Apple Store.

It’s called developing deep connections with key people in your business circle. Seeing how you can help THEM — how you can build their business. Always asking, “How Can I Help You?” (see my last post)

Most people don’t do it — and they are the ones waiting in line for an iPad.

Has this ever happened to you? How did it make you feel? Do you now deepen your business relationships?

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I know . . . you hate small talk. To a certain extent, everyone does.

If you’re asked to attend a lunch or dinner, you think, “Shoot me now – I hate all the fake conversation”.

People ask me why I love social functions. They grow me as a professional, expand my contact base and increase my chances for greater success. Hermits are rarely successful (with the exception of Howard Hughes).

A close colleague of mine is the most active person I’ve ever met. She spends every second of the day seeking new and interesting experiences. As a result, she finds what other people do interesting because it can be applied to her own endeavors.

It’s not about talking to people. It’s about being interested in what other people have to say, and the only way to do that is to be interested in things yourself. If you are a boring person then you will find other people boring.

You might be uncomfortable in social situations and use your ‘disinterest’ as an excuse, whether by accident or on purpose.

There are many reasons why you don’t find people interesting. Sometimes, people also fall victim to the same arrogance to assume people will be dumb and boring to talk to. Don’t believe it, reach out and give it a try.

Find as many things in the world as you can that interest you. Then when the opportunity arises, try to find related topics to discuss with strangers.

The deeper and more honest a conversation is with a stranger, the more interesting it will be. Don’t be afraid to tell someone what it is that you really enjoy or are really thinking about. They will sense your passion and share more with you.

If you get caught up in the moral dilemma of whether or not you are having a conversation for the other person’s pleasure or your own selfish desires, then just remember we’re here to experience life with others. We are all the same.

I’ve had more lifelong friends by volunteering for events or projects that I’ve found interesting than I ever did through chance and happenstance.

I volunteered for a local community project and while there were a fair share of douchey people involved, they were far outnumbered by just plainly awesome folks, most of whom I am still involved with on a day-to-day basis.

Keep your eyes open for opportunities to help others do things you enjoy, and you’ll find others with common ground and shared interests that you will, hopefully, have no need to follow conversational flowcharts. You’ll just talk.

Make believe you are a spy. Pretend you are James Bond and you are collecting information. You need to get as much intel on someone as possible, and learn as much as you can. And you need to store it away incase you need to use it to keep your cover later.

Don’t spend time thinking about yourself and the process of fake communication rather than engaging in a real conversation. A conversation is a dance, a give and take, an exchange. Try to relate yourself with the person you are talking to, which in turn will make you more interested, because clearly we are very interested in ourselves.

Addressing it in a slightly different manner was all I needed to get much better at it, which in turn made people seem more interesting.

What are your tips to produce great conversation?

Image provided by atomicjeep at Flickr.

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Keith Ferrazzi uses a term in his book, Never Eat Alone, called the ‘Super Connector’. His definition (paraphrased from his book & site):

“Super Connectors are people who maintain contact with thousands of people in many different worlds and know them well enough to give them a call. Restauranteurs, headhunters, lobbyists, fundraisers, public relations people, politicians, and journalists are the best super-connectors because it’s their job to know EVERYONE.”

If you want to rocket your career upwards or grow your business exponentially, you need to begin reaching out to these people, become friends, and leverage their talents. I do . . . all the time.

But just knowing a lot of people or knowing the ‘right’ type of people is only one side of the coin. The other side is how you help connect them to each other — ‘get your connections to connect with other connections’.

This is where the rubber hits the road — and where most people stop being connectors. They don’t want to volunteer their good friends, colleagues, and clients to other connections. Why? It might not go well, people are very concerned about their time, they might not like the person you connect them to — it could go in a million bad directions.

In addition, we tend to hold onto our connections like a deep, dark secret, never letting anyone know who we know. Guess what? You are sabotaging your own evolution to become a super-connector. If you don’t share, the natural symbiosis of contacts never happens.

Here’s a simple tool I use to not only connect strangers together, but it ensures both parties immediately connect with one another and if something goes awry, no feelings are hurt. I call it the RICH GEE VIRTUAL INTRODUCTION. Here it is:

Oprah & Phil – I think you both should meet. Why?

Oprah – Phil is a good friend and a rare personality in the world. He’s helped many celebrities just like you and his name came to mind when you mentioned your situation with the beef industry.

Phil – Oprah is also a good friend. She has a multi-billion dollar media enterprise and she influences millions of people every day. She makes things happen.

From my point of view, it never hurts to introduce respected professionals – you never know who can help who, who knows who, etc. I love to have these encounters myself all the time. No one is selling anything, no one is looking for a job – the result: good business and marketplace conversation! You never know, you might help one another!

Oprah
Position, Company

Address, City/State/Zip

Direct Phone Number

Email

Phil
Position, Company

Address, City/State/Zip

Direct Phone Number

Email

If I have erred in any way, let me know. I have introduced you to each other with the highest of ethics and earnestness. You are both nice people and I like to make opportunities happen between friends and colleagues.

Have a great day! Regards – Rich

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Well, I say that’s wrong.

Networking is a very impersonal, awkward, and most of the time, unsuccessful process professionals go through to meet someone and get something from the person they meet. Whenever I hear the term ‘networking’, I think of a slimy used-car salesman in a seersucker suit, white belt, and white shiny shoes. Yuck!

I like to CONNECT. What’s the difference between connecting and networking?

Networking: Ingratiating yourself into someone’s space, telling them all about you, and asking for help, an item, or service from them.

Connecting: Meeting someone (preferably with an introduction), asking questions about them, listening to their response, asking more questions, and then offering help, an item, or service TO them. While asking questions, you find a subtle (or overt) area to make a connection —where they live, what they do, where they went to school, anything. Connecting happens in the moment.

The difference? You Ask Questions, Listen, and Give Them something. Not the other way around. It’s called Seeding. You plant seeds when you connect — they germinate and grow, and someday that person will be doing something for you. It’s not deceptive, it’s reciprocal. You do something for them, they do something for you.

What’s the biggest reason why you should Connect and not Network? When you network, once the person realizes that the conversation is all about you and what they can do for you — a wall of glass goes up. The person immediately knows that you want something from them. And they endeavor to slowly extricate from the interaction. I see this happen ALL the time. It used to happen to me.

In addition, the fastest way to connect with that person is to turn the conversation towards them, learn more about them, understand their situation, their needs, and their problems/obstacles. You are then in a prime position to focus in on their needs and deliver a personalized solution.

Tomorrow, in Part Two, I will show you HOW to connect. It’s easy, simple to do, and best of all, FUN.

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It’s hard to stay connected with friends, colleagues, clients, and key people in your industry. Why? Because most positions force you to focus on production and not development. Get to work and don’t worry about new connections.

Here’s three ways to gently sneak in a little contact to help your career health, grow your business, and ensure your success.

Strategic Lunches — Once a week, ensure that you schedule a lunch with someone outside of your current contact list (growth) or a critical, connected and key player within your contact list (retention). Not five lunches, just one. Also make sure that you keep it to one hour — so you will do it again and not fret about the ‘waste of time’ it might incur.

Morning Calls — Every day, pick one person from your contact list, and reach out to them via phone in the morning. Make it first thing, make it quick (no more than 5-10 minutes), and keep it enthusiastic. Focus on them – ask about their family, work, life — but the most important this is to get in and get out. Slowly, people will look forward to your call when they see your name appear on their phone. Result: Connect with 200+ people on your list every year.

Dinner Parties — Every three months, host a dinner party at your home. Here are the rules:

• Invite 3-4 couples. They should not know each other, but they do know you.
• Keep it casual. Tell them to dress down.
• Keep the food simple. Serve something where you spend no time in the kitchen once the guests arrive. Like chili.
• Keep the wine flowing. A glass or two always soften the party jitters.
• Use nametags. People forget names and it inhibits conversation. It sounds hokey, but it works.
• Have them bring a fun gift. Like their favorite CD from college. Then you can play it and talk about it (or make fun of it).

I’ve had more people come to me afterward and comment that these are the best parties they’ve ever attended. And I get business.

Just try one of these strategies and slowly see your contact circle grow that much more robust. Trust me.

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