Everyone is looking for that one magic pill to take and instantly become successful. Here are some realities:

• It’s hard. You’re going to have to work at it.
• It’s fleeting. Never, never, never give up. Stick with it.
• It’s capricious. You have to be in the right place at the right time with the right people.

How does one get successful? You need to work at it — every day.

I’ve found six inter-related behaviors of highly successful clients I’ve tracked in my 11 years coaching:

1. They Self-Motivate

Get out there and make things happen. Most people expect their boss, their job, or their colleagues to somehow get them motivated (directly or indirectly) so they can perform their duties.

Successful people have an internal engine that revs them up in the morning and keeps them energized all day long. Or they leverage external motivators on a regular basis to keep them at a peak performing state.

Check Out: Five Ways To Make Your Commute Bearable

2. They Push Until It Hurts

Most (if not all) of us procrastinate in one form or another. We put things off, we extend deadlines, we miss delivery dates.

Successful people get things done, on time. They push themselves, their staff, and everyone around them to ensure agreed upon dates are met. Sometime it hurts, sometimes they work late, but in the end, the pushing delivers results.

Check Out: How To Eliminate Procrastination

3. They Partner & Connect

We tend to work with the same people and cocoon within our company. It’s safe, it’s easy, and it doesn’t over-extend our comfort zone into meeting new people. Hey, it’s worked so far, so what do you have to lose? A lot.

Successful people regularly extend themselves inside their company and outside into the marketplace. They reach out to connected individuals and influential executives to build solid relationships.

Check Out: Why Networking Is Dead – Part One & Why Networking Is Dead – Part Two

4. They Track

You go on your merry way each day getting your work done, taking on new projects and tasks, and never really step back and look at the big picture.

Successful people are not only working in their job, but they are also working on it — they step back and assess their progress regularly. They track themselves against their peers and clearly know what needs to be done to accelerate and excel.

Check Out: What Have You Done So Far?

5. They Relax

Business is cyclical — so is your career. It has it ups and downs — unfortunately, many people get too stressed out when things go wrong or not as planned. They then take it out on themselves and everyone around them.

Successful people take adversity in stride — they understand the peaks and valleys of the marketplace and office. Instead of devolving down into a funk, they use this opportunity to step back, reflect, and start anew.

Check Out: How To Be More Effective On The Job

6. They Are Positive & Confident

There are so many people in corporate and those who own their own businesses who wander through the day with a negative weight on their shoulders. In addition, they ensure everyone knows about it.

Successful people usually have a glass half-full point of view. They are the energizers, the brainstormers, and the people who hit the ground running every morning of every day. In addition, they project confidence (or at least try to) — they believe in their ability to make things happen, enact change and inspire people. Here’s a secret —  they also have a lack of confidence — so they fake it (we all do).

Check Out: How To Be A Confident Executive & Be Like Jack LaLanne

POST YOUR QUESTIONS OR COMMENTS BELOW

P.S. Successful isn’t hard — it just takes planning. You and I can work on it together so you instantly get what I’m talking about - Let’s talk. I’ve worked with thousands of people who wanted to take assertive steps in this area — call or email me to schedule a complimentary session.

But it’s really easy. Here’s the secret (don’t tell anyone):

Walk 25% Faster and Smile.

That’s it. Now you might be saying, “Rich — that stupid. I need to work on my confidence daily.”

Here’s the skinny:

If you walk 25% faster (just pick it up a little bit):

• You exude confidence.
• You look like a successful person.
• You embody: “I’ve got someplace important to go and do.”
• If you don’t believe me, watch this (start at 2:00 minutes in)

If you Smile:

• It gives you confidence.
• It deflects fear.
• Boosts your spirits.
• Check this out (TED speakers are some of my favorites).

Appearance says a lot about who you are and what you do. It allows you to look like the kind of person you want to be.

Look sharp — think sharp.

POST YOUR QUESTIONS OR COMMENTS BELOW

P.S. Do you sometimes lose confidence at work or with clients? Let’s talk. I’ve worked with many clients who have the same problem — and we developed a successful strategy to make things happen. If you’re not a client . . . pick up the phone and call me (203.500.2421) — I offer one (and only one) complimentary session each week.

Why arent you happy at your job?

Why arent you fulfilled? Challenged? Focused?

Why arent you moving up? Making more money?

You probably don’t fully believe in your product. You say you do — but deep down — you really don’t. Either you don’t believe it works, or is too expensive, or you’ve seen a lot of dissatisfied customers.

This happens often — you might start out strong — but after awhile, you begin to doubt the efficacy of your product or service. Well, you have two choices:

1. Start believing in your product again.
2. Get another job.

It’s that easy. You can’t go on faking your interest in your product. It will start to show — first your peers will see it, then your boss, then, ultimately, your customers.

Unless you want to find a new job or vocation, begin the process to produce a new interest in your product — one where you fervently believe in it.

This happens all the time to coaches. Since coaching is somewhat subjective, there are times when I question its’ efficacy. Usually after one or two unmotivated clients.

I then need to step back and clearly question — is it coaching? Is it me? Or is it the unmotivated client? I need to clear out all of my doubt — I then can get back to business.

Do you have a crisis of confidence sometimes?

POST YOUR QUESTIONS OR COMMENTS BELOW

P.S. Do you sometimes lose confidence in your profession? Let’s talk. I’ve worked with many clients who have the same problem — and we developed a successful strategy to make things happen. If you’re not a client . . . pick up the phone and call me (203.500.2421) — I offer one (and only one) complimentary session each week.

Image provided by SweetOnVeg at Flickr.

Once in awhile, I bump into something that is so simple, yet effective, I just need to talk about it.

Rejection Therapy might be your answer. It’s a card game. Yes . . . a card game.

Players challenge themselves to make an offer or request of another person every day for thirty days straight. And get rejected. Players only get points when they get rejected. The point of the game is to overcome one’s fear of rejection by being constantly exposed to it. It desensitizes them. Rejection is usually looked at as a failure, but the game recasts it as success.

It helps everyone who plays it, but if you want to make yourself rich, it’s essential because it develops the character traits that all entrepreneurs need — self confidence, resilience and the ability to network. It can give you the skills to make yourself rich.

Rejection Therapy players test their courage daily by making offers or requests until they get turned down, but getting that rejection can be harder than they think. One user went to a nightclub and couldn’t get anyone to refuse to let her take their picture. Even after upping the ante and asking to get in the picture with them, wearing their jewelry, she couldn’t get a rejection. People were much more accommodating than she expected.

This experience is fairly typical. Players learn that the world is a friendlier place than they thought, and that builds confidence. Rejection Therapy creator Jason Comely summed it up like this, “I realized people were a lot more willing to give me what I asked for than I thought. My comfort zone was like a cage keeping me from exploring a lot of opportunities.”

There are 36 cards — enough for one full game. They will help you do the things you know you need to do to grow your business and give you new ideas as well. If you steel yourself to play and your business doesn’t strongly improve, you’ll know there’s something fundamentally wrong with your business — an important thing to find out in only thirty days.

To learn more and purchase Rejection Therapy, click here.
To visit their Facebook Group, click here. It’s a closed group, but admittance is immediate, so you can begin playing immediately.
This post was edited from a previous post by Chris Hugh on his blog. Chris is a Silicon Valley lawyer, author, crafter and amateur photographer. Visit Chris here. Thank you Chris!

Sweet Potatoes? Peas? Squash? Corn? No.

Is it a loved one who passed away this year? Is it a family member who is serving our country overseas?

Let’s all take a moment and express our love and gratitude for all the people in our lives.

But today, I would like to go a little deeper — what’s missing from your INNER Thanksgiving table this year?

Have you lost your job?
Have you lost confidence in yourself?
Have you lost your clients?
Have you lost your focus?

2010 has been both problematic and revelatory for many of my clients, colleagues, and friends. Some are up, some are down.

But the one thing we all need to remember, is that we have the ability to change. To take action. To slowly (or quickly) start turning our fortunes around to where we want them to go.

Only YOU have the ability to change where you are.

Only YOU can make the decision to begin charting a new course.

Everyone else can only be a tool to help YOU accomplish your goals.
We can show you how to swing the club, YOU are the only person who must swing and hit the ball.

So at this time of the year, let’s all be thankful that we have the ability to take action. The ability to change course.

And the gratitude to realize that Friday is also a holiday — spend some time that day to start taking action.

P.S. Here’s a Thanksgiving gift for you to download and enjoy.

Okay — let’s get down and dirty with this post. You want clients, you know they’re out there, and it’s just a matter of getting them to see you and closing them effectively.

Here are 10 ways you can get A LOT closer to some of your best clients, pull them in, and make them YOURS:

1. Develop Value & Status
   It’s simple: The more expensive a product is, the more the prospect infers better quality. The more it makes them successful, more hip or more accepted by their peers the more they value it. How can you build in value and status into your product offering – from the minute they hear of you to the final closing sale statement?
2. Be Prepared
   Know who your best prospects are, where they are located, where they go, what they do, when you can approach them, how you can approach them, and the most important — why they need you. If you have these answered (I’ve taken many of my clients through this in about an hour), your success rate will double.
3. Look Professional
   You are in business. The more that you define ‘business’ and the less you define ‘hobby’, the more successful you will be. Bottom line — you have to spend money to make money. Look the part, dress professionally, carry professionally designed and printed cards, have a professionally produced web site — play the part.
4. Act Confident & Composed
   First impressions are key — you need to have the right attitude and appearance. Smile, approach the prospect, be the first one to speak, welcome them, smile, look into their eyes, be interested in them, stand straight and tall, stand up/no sitting when meeting, don’t carry a lot of bags and SMILE. You know your business cold — act like it.
5. Take Action . . . Frequently
   So many people get themselves all ready to go out and conquer the marketplace, but are afraid of taking the next step by actually doing it. Get out there and touch your prospects. Make that phone call RIGHT NOW. Send that letter TODAY.
6. Ask Lots of Questions & Listen
   Make this meeting about THEM, not you. Learn all about their day, their business, their goals, their obstacles, their business interactions, their vendors, their family, and even their shoes. The more that you learn about them, the easier it is for you to position and inculcate your products and services into their life.
7. Deliver Solutions Selectively
   When I sell a prospect, I don’t barrage them with a myriad of offerings and services. I ask questions, listen, and pitch a single solution. If they bite, great. If not, I ask them what’s holding them back, and then I either modify my current offering or pitch an alternate solution. Too many people try to show the whole store in one sitting — that’s a mistake.
8. Go For The Close
   Too many people out there don’t know how to close. Here are a few simple close phrases that you can use. Remember, once you say it to a potential client, shut up. Let them respond. Too many people blabber on and lose all the power of a perfect sales close. (many of these come from my friends on the LinkedIn Group, Sales Playbook!):
   - “How does that sound to you?”
   - “Does that sound fair?”
   - “When would you like for us to get started?”
   - “If everything looks good, why don’t you go ahead and approve this and I will take care of all the details.”
   - “So, let’s do this. I will be here every step of the way to make sure everything goes exactly as we discussed.”
   And my favorite: “Sounds like you want to go ahead with this.”
9. Go Above & Beyond
   Once you get them as a client, don’t sit back and catch your breath. This is the most important time to quickly manage their expectations and serve them. Follow up and send them a thank you email and mail a personalized, hand-written card. Endeavor to deliver the first step of what you agreed upon ASAP, exceed their expectations. This one little action will define your relationship for a long time.
10. Be Persistent
    If they need to think about it, give them space, but ensure that you have a solid follow up date and time to get back to them. If you can, make it an in-person meeting and try to bring additional information or answers they might need to that meeting. If they turn you down, it’s usually about fear of spending money or lack of information about your product/service. These are two areas that you can remedy pretty quickly with some basic follow-up sales questions.

What’s the Girlfriend Effect?

Remember in high school, if a boy didn’t have a girlfriend, it was pretty darn near impossible for him to attract one? But if the boy did have a girlfriend, all her friends seemed to flock over to him and be instantly interested in him?

Well, the girlfriend effect is alive and well in business today and it starts with the atmosphere you create.

It’s how you act, your confidence, your self-esteem, the way you react in situations, the way you carry yourself.

If you own or run your own business or if you are an executive in a corporation, you understand the power of first impressions, charisma, and confident behavior.

If you don’t have it, you need to get it. When I work with my clients, I frequently say that you need to always have your “hot shit” persona on. Because if you don’t think you are important, influential, and experienced, no one will. It all starts with you.

Here are some incredible books that you can grab to build your confidence, charisma, and image:

• You get something done (duh . . . Rich).
• It’s the only way you grow (okay, I see where you’re going).
• You will feel better about yourself (big win here).

Most of the time, we get down on ourselves when we don’t get key stuff done. We are also even harder on ourselves when we hold ourselves back on the most important stuff.

And that feeling and those behaviors take a subtle toll on our confidence. Your confidence is one of the major players in your success in business and life. It’s what drives you and makes you attractive to others. You do not want to deplete it — you want to nurture and grow it. So you need to do SCARY things.

It’s the only way you will grow your confidence level. So how do you do it?

• Call that one person that you are afraid of calling or you’ve been putting it off because your ‘not prepared’. Just call.
• Make an appointment with an influential mover and shaker. Today.
• Start something that really scares you. An exercise program. Dancing. Singing. Speaking. Something.

It’s doesn’t matter WHAT it is. It’s the action of just doing it that builds your confidence level. And that’s a good thing.

It’s tough today. It’s hard when everything is coming at you. Hard to think. Hard to act. Hard to react. As they always say — the first step is always the hardest.

You’re constantly focused on getting the work done — satisfying your boss, your clients . . . just keeping your job!

It’s now time for you to step back and look at the long view:

Where you’ve been
Where you are
Where you want to go

This isn’t time consuming, but it isn’t easy. The only thing I ask is that you don’t give into the “Executive ADD” that creeps in when we try something that is new and difficult.

“Oh, this won’t work” or “Let me just put this down for a second and I’ll get back to it tomorrow.”

Stop doing that. Now.

Take the first step and let the tide take you. But don’t stop.

I have something to help you — I’ve used it with thousands of executives. And guess what? IT WORKS.

The BEST part? It’s FREE. Click Here to download this life-changing solution.

It’s hard to be a leader in today’s economy. Add that you need equal parts of courage, vision, empathy, and reality (Peter

1. You move from confident to cocky.
There is a fine line between confidence and cockyness — my definition:

Confident - fully comfortable in their skin, able to hold their own in most situations, but always willing to learn from others to better oneself.
Cocky - fully comfortable in their skin, able to hold their own in most situations, knows it all – and let’s everyone know that fact.

Be more humble — keep your mind open to new ideas. This leads me to my next reason:

2. You speak more than you listen.
Pontification is a rampant disease of leaders. Candidly, as you move from communicating to pontification, you slowly lose the attention of the very people that you are speaking to. Communication is a two-way street — so feel free to let your people know what you are thinking and impart key information, but please fit in a bit of listening to complete the circle. It will go miles whenever you communicate with your team.

3. You care more about your performance than your team’s performance.
This primarily affects new managers than accomplished ones, but it does creep in sometimes when times are hard for the company. We all fall back on touting our own laurels rather than bringing up the rear with stories of the real performers of your company — your team. Try to pick one person and one action every so often and message it to the people that matter. It will pay dividends in exposure and good will from your team.

4. You manage upwards significantly more than downwards.
A corollary to the previous reason — when we focus on ourselves, we tend to manage upwards to hone impressions of our performance. When we spend time doing this, we tend to forget that our job is to manage our people — which is quite easy to do:

a. Give them the information they need to do their job.
b. Motivate them when required.
c. Help them get rid of any obstacles.

If you spend more time on your people, everything else will fall into place. If you would like to read more on leadership, read this.

5. You care more about where you’re going than where you are.
Everyone becomes enamored with shiny objects — add to that a bit of executive ADD, and you tend to look elsewhere for better vistas. I’m not saying not to do this (it’s always good to keep your options open), but you also need to pay attention to where you are. Too many executives come onto the scene, make a big splash, pull in a big client or coup, and then immediately get distracted and look for other shores to conquer. Slow down, enjoy the accolades and see if there are bigger beasts to manage where you are — it might pay off in the long run.

Many of my clients have been struggling with what I call a “crisis of confidence” — where their inner guide and strong self-esteem are taking big hits during this downturn in the economy.

Do you find yourself thinking this during your workday?

“My boss wants to have a morning meeting . . . he’s going to fire me . . . I’m going to lose my job . . . I will be out on the street by Christmas.”

“Even though we are posting good numbers, the board is never satisfied. Lately, they never warm to any of my accomplishments or ideas. I am on my way out.”

“Every day I lose customers . . . and it’s seems that my current ones are not purchasing as much as they did last year.”

“I can’t find a job . . . I don’t know where to look . . . we are going to be out on the street by Christmas.”

If you do, read below.

In business, there are ups and downs.

FACT #1: The ups are not as ‘up’ as we think and the downs are not as ‘down’ as we perceive.
FACT #2: When we feel that we have no recourse or ability to affect the outcome, we actually do.
FACT #3: All is not lost, in reality, there are many options open to you.

You just don’t see them clearly. The problem is that we let the story overcome reality. Why?

Stories are fun.
Stories are interesting and easy to remember.
Stories are fun to develop, add characters, and grow as time goes on.

Reality is scary.
It is fact-based and hard to remember.
It sometimes hits you square in the face and that isn’t a pleasant experience.

Example — one story (from a current client):
“If I call that executive out of the blue, he is extremely busy on a project, will get on the phone and either blow me off or yell at me for wasting his time.”

Same Example — an alternate story (that I made up for the same client):
“When I call that executive out of the blue, he will listen to my interest in his company, and make an appointment to see me in the next week.”

Both are stories — which one are you telling yourself today? Probably the first one. But you will never know if your story will become reality unless you act on it. And that’s the paradox — the story prohibits you from acting on it. So I say — stop making up stories and take ACTION.

Just do it. Try it. Make that call. See what happens.

Look at the facts first and banish the story. Logically look at what needs to get done and DO IT.

What does it mean for you? That’s easy — you get out of story-land and actually take positive steps to change your situation. What’s the worst that can happen? You get fired. But you would probably get fired anyway for doing NOTHING.

Those who are innately confident and self-directed routinely outperform co-workers, regardless of their backgrounds.

By Nick Tasler at BusinessWeek.

There are two kinds of employees. Some believe they can make things happen, and the others believe that things happen to them. The first group believes that the outcome of their life and career is more or less in their own hands, and they wouldn’t have it any other way. The other group takes more of a Forrest Gump approach: They sit around and wait for a bus to take them somewhere.

This distinguishing feature is captured by something called a “core self-evaluation.” After more than a decade of research, psychologist Tim Judge has discovered that virtually all superstar employees—from rainmakers in the field to line workers on the floor all the way to big guns in the boardroom—have one thing in common: a high core self-evaluation. Judge describes core self-evaulation as “a person’s fundamental bottom line evaluation of their abilities.”

Judge and his colleagues have shown overwhelmingly that employees who feel like they control the events in their lives more than events control them and generally believe that they can make things turn out in their favor end up doing better on nearly every important measure of work performance. They sell more than other employees do. They give better customer service. They adjust better to foreign assignments. They are more motivated. They bring in an average of 50% to 150% more annual income than people who feel less control over the fate of their careers. Not surprisingly, these employees also like their jobs a lot more than the Gumps do.

Better Performers In Good Times And Bad
In one study, Judge and his team tracked the progress of more than 12,000 people from their teenage years to middle age. He found that core self-evaluations predicted who did and didn’t capitalize on the advantages life dealt them. With only a bleak view of their capacity to handle life’s challenges and opportunities, even the brightest kids born to executives and engineers failed to reach as high an annual income as their less fortunate classmates.

By contrast, the supremely confident sons and daughters of roofers and plumbers who had only mediocre SAT scores and below average grades earned a 30%-60% higher income than the smart kids with dreary views of their abilities. And those kids with all the advantages of intelligence and pedigree plus a firm belief in their competence earned three times as much money as their otherwise equally blessed peers.

It seems that the difference between the successful and the unsuccessful employees has as much to do with an employee’s beliefs about her ability as the reality of that ability. Considering that this difference is based as much on illusion as on reality, you might think the employee’s performance would take a serious nosedive under challenging circumstances.

After all, if you think you’re special, what happens when your superior or your board tells you about the areas in which you’re falling short? Worse yet, what happens when the self-described superstar finds himself laid off or responsible for a division with tanking revenues? In other words, what happens when people who believe they are capable of controlling the world find themselves in an economy that is out of control?

It turns out that this is when the true stars shine. Tough times weed out both those with low self-evaluations and those poseurs who only pretend to have a high self-evaluation—the narcissists. Judge finds that only about one in five people with a high core self-evaluation also scores high on measures of narcissism. That’s probably why researchers continually find that those with a high self-evaluation do so much better in turbulent times compared with those with a dimmer view of their abilities, and compared with those narcissists with fragile egos.

In a series of studies by different researchers, employees with high self-evaluations have been found to respond better to corrective feedback. They also experience less stress and burnout than other employees, struggle less with work-life balance, and persevere more when searching for a job. Rather than shattering their beliefs in their abilities, it seems that a high self-evaluation creates a mental toughness that makes these people stronger and more resilient even when the chips are down.

The Core of Your Recovery Strategy
To identify these stars who can take charge of your organization’s rebound, you can use Judge’s simple 12-question “Core Self-Evaluations Scale.” (You can learn more about the scale and download it for free on Tim Judge’s Web site.) It would also be a good idea to start keeping an eye out for these positive go-getters already working for you and consider giving them more responsibility and visibility in your recovery efforts. Here is how to spot them:

• “I Think I Can” Attitude: Kindergarten never taught a lesson more supported by empirical evidence than this: People who believe they can overcome challenges are more successful in virtually every sphere of life, including work.
• In Control: Does this employee take control of his work, or does he always point to outside circumstances when his projects go astray?
• Confident, Not Narcissistic: There is an important difference between having a high self-evaluation and being a narcissist. Does the employee pitch in when teammates need help, or bad-mouth co-workers they view as threats? Are they receptive or defensive when you give them feedback?
  
• Emotionally Stable: Employees who aren’t easily discouraged are less likely to succumb to stress and burnout. They solve problems instead of saying, “See, I knew it wouldn’t work!”

You could argue that getting these winners and their can-do attitudes on board still can’t do much about a dismal economy. After more than a year of watching the economy go the way of the Titanic, nobody would blame you for trying to wait out the hard times. But do you really want to spend the coming months soothing your anxieties with a box of chocolates, and hoping that your bus arrives before the wind picks up?

Nick Tasler is a writer, researcher, and organizational psychologist. Tasler began his career at Andersen Consulting, was director of global research and development for think tank TalentSmart, and has consulted for Fortune 500 companies as well as smaller public and private enterprises. His book The Impulse Factor was named Best Career Book of 2008.