“Pay more attention to what losers do wrong than to what winners do right.”

Really? Aren’t you supposed to focus on the stars and mimic each step they’ve taken to get where they are? How many self-help and business books are out there prognosticating the way to our success? Millions.

The truth: Most successful people don’t actually know why they’re successful. Timing, relationships, hard work, family support and a huge helping of luck are what make most people successful.

I’m not saying we should ignore successful people — it is helpful to see what they do right — but we also need to put more weight on the mistakes unsuccessful people make or we’ll miss a huge piece of the puzzle.

Here are some techniques to do this:

First — look inside at the ‘loser’ we all have inside us — part procrastinator, part fear of change, or part looking for that magic pill to change our life. We need to shine a light and conquer that part of ourselves first.

Second — understand there is an extensive gradation from loser to success and we travel back and forth on that line daily. Our decisions, the people we meet, and the things that happen to us all impact the point on our line. One fact — we are never total losers or extreme successes — we usually live in the middle and dance around.

Finally — you need to figure out what are those actions, behaviors, people, and triggers that push us forward in life and which ones hold us back. Once you start to understand these forces, you will move faster towards your goals and dreams.

Spend more time with people who energize you and less with those who enervate your soul.